Drum Roll

"Can i get a drum roll please?"

I hear this all the time in movies and tv, but it happens so infrequently in real life. I have no quarrels with people calling for a drum roll to make some sort of announcement. I'd actually like to see someone whip out a snare drum and beat the hell out of it when or if I have something moderately important to say.

Picture it, maybe I'm at a lunch with a group of my peers and I'd like to announce something pertinent. I call for the drum roll and out of the kitchen comes either (a)a high-school marching band student in full garb wielding a snare drum (b)a neil peart wanna-be rolls in with a full drum set and busts out with a killer 3-5 minute solo, or (c)a weak as hell drum roll from all in attendance at the lunch breaks out with finger tips or hands on the tables, much appreciated but it's not as good as (a) or (b).

I say we include the drum roll with in-appropeau moments:
Breaking up with your significant other? "drum roll please.... It's not you it's me!"
Contract an unfriendly condition? "drum roll please.... Get yourself tested!"
Firing a less than dedicated employee? "drum roll please.... Pack your shit and go!"