Joan Polk Harrington

February 17, 1930 - April 19, 2010

I love you and I miss you.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®


Saturday and another news.

Uncle Slam and his adoring Fans.
As you may have been able to tell, this week has been crazy. I'm taking this opportunity to put up a quick post to remind you of things to come. Tomorrow is the last game of the homestand, so that means no more posts after tomorrow until the 3rd of May. Also, since tomorrow is Sunday, I'm supposed to have YOU readers out there pick what I write about. Well, I'm not ashamed to say it, I've had Zero suggestions. I'm gonna go ahead and scrap that feature and just write what ever I desire.
Your loss!
I haven't been updating the tarp count as it happens, but rest assured it will always be up-to-date by the end of the week.
And finally, another little news item, I will be working with Bill to get the Family Guy rating posted on the sites in the future.
Well have a good weekend, and take care.


Film Friday: Saving Private Ryan

Ahh.. Why do I love this movie? Let me count the ways..

For those of you who haven't seen this, where have you been? It came out over 10 years ago. You've had your chance.

Let's start from the beginning. Stephen Spielberg directing and Tom Hanks starring, along with several solid performances by the supporting cast. Tom steals the show, and thankfully, if this movie was about Matt Damon, I think it would have blew.

Going back to what I said about the supporting cast; Tom Sizemore, Adam Goldberg, Giovanni Ribisi and (surprisingly) Vin Diesel all add to the story, and their characters are relate-able if not identifiable in some way to the viewer. It's nice when the main characters are great, but when the supporting cast brings you into the story like these guys did, it makes the experience better.

And the gore.. Oh the gore.. If there is a better opening sequence to open a film than storming the beach of Normandy, I don't wanna see it. That opening kicked ass.

Unfortunately my only complaint is Matt Damon. I normally like him, but in this role he comes off as a bitch. This platoon of men led by Tom Hanks' character, Miller, are sent to pick up Private James Ryan (Damon) whose brothers have all perished in the war. On the way to rescue Ryan, two of Miller's men have fallen. Yet when Miller and his men reach Ryan, Ryan wants to stay. He says that "these are my brothers" (referencing his platoon members) and refuses to leave.

If Ryan hadn't been such a dick and let Miller take him home, Miller wouldn't have died on the bridge because of some dumb fucking German.

Anyway, it's a great film. You should check it out if you haven't seen it, but I'm sure you have. It's really a great story and the visuals are fantastic by today's standards, and this was filmed in the late 90's.

See you tomorrow.


Thoughts of the Day: 4/22

Is there a better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) song to get stuck in your head than "Highway to the Danger Zone"? I don't think so. ..Sorry about getting that stuck in your head by the way.

I don't know what's worse, drinking coffee with the wrong mixture of cream and sugar, or not drinking coffee at all. I know it may sound like I'm a coffee addict (what with my body hating me at 3:00 pm) but I'm really not. I just like the feeling of being awake in the morning more than the feeling of death.

Why does my left contact always pop loose.. {rubs left eye} I'm gonna start calling my left eye "Lisa Left-Eye".

Does anyone else out there like Ben Folds as I do? I've been on a big Ben Folds kick since last summer and I've had his songs playing on shuffle all week.

How many times do you think everyone in existence has said the phrase "That's what she said"? It's probably a hell of a lot. I bet the first time someone said it, it was probably not a joke. But the first time it was meant as a joke was probably hilarious.

Well that's all for today.


Bugs the Shit out of Me: 3:30 in the afternoon.

You've seen the commercials for "5-Hour Energy" regarding the afternoon crash for people right? Well you know that feeling when you just get extremely exhausted at around 3-4:30?

I f**king hate that feeling.

Today, I left work around 3:15 refreshed and ready to go, and by the time I was on the road and headed to class, I was dead tired.

Why the hell does my body say, "Hey Paul, F**K YOU!" at 3:00 pm? That's Bull Shit. I work hard to keep my body happy and take naps whenever I can, I eat good food, and I get a good work out. So why do I get punished by Mr. Sleepy time every weekday afternoon?

So you know what I say to that? Coffee. Yea that's right Body, I'm gonna drown you with legal addictive stimulants until you wake the f**k up. I'm tired of your needy shit and I'm gonna do what I wanna do.

God dammit body. You're an asshole. You bitch and moan until I do what you want me to do, and then when I do it, it's not good enough.

Bring on the caffeine. Whore.


My Own Personal Hell

I've realized, after much thought, what my own personal Hell would be like (if there is in fact an afterlife).

First, I'll die. I mean, we all do. It's just a question of "How" and "When". But when I do, I'll wake up, in a car. Not just any car, but a car with no working Radio, or Air Conditioning, and a bad smell of burning rubber.

As I awake in this car, I'll look around to understand what's going on. I'll see in the car with me a nondescript overweight man. He'll be wearing a hooded sweatshirt, even though it's well over 90 degrees, and sweating profusely. I look further and realize I am in a small cramped hatchback in bumper to bumper traffic. It's at this time that I think, maybe I am in purgatory. I am no where and yet I am somewhere at the same time. This road must lead somewhere, most likely my final destination of either Heaven or Hell.

The nondescript man begins to talk, and his voice has an accent I've heard before. A southern accent, with long drawing sentences instead of one word responses to my queries. A simple question of, "Where are we?" will lead to a 12 minute response with unnecessary back stories and "funny" stories, only all of his stories will have no meaning and have no semblance of a punchline.

I glance behind to see if there are anymore occupants in this cramped hatchback, but no one is there. Just a stained and empty back seat. There is a styrofoam cup of water in the cupholder next to me. I take a swig and finish the last amount of ice cold liquid to satisfy my thirst. Then, after downing the cup and tossing it out the window, I have the feeling of "Nature's Call." The doors are locked and there is no way to relive myself. Any desperate attempts to "go" are met with the feeling that it is not possible to do so.

As I am moving inch by inch on a sun parched highway, I cannot see the cause of the traffic jam in the distance. I can only guess, but I will never know the real answer. I tell myself to take the next exit, only no exit will come. All the while, in the back of my mind, a nagging feeling of, "I'm almost there" and "This has to lead somewhere" will keep me driving.

This scenario will play on for all eternity until the end of time.

That, my friends, is my own personal Hell.


Music Monday Vol. 1 - "Here it Goes Again" by OK Go

Well there's a game tonight, which means it's time to post!

"Here it Goes Again" by OK Go

You've probably seen the music video, it erupted The Internets a few years back, but in case you missed it;

Not only is the video great, but the song is pretty darn good too. Sweet guitar with an even better drum line throughout the song. I'm not music analyst but this is definitely something I can bob my head to.

Now what you may not know is that this group, OK Go, has so much more to offer than one song. There are several things by them that I really like, and (you guessed it) each one has a solid video to go along with it.

And the songs they have that I haven't seen videos for are just as good. Like "All is Not Lost", "Needing / Getting" and "Don't Ask Me".

So check OK Go out. They really deserve a look beyond the occasional chuckle at a music video.


For day 4, something different.

First, as a reminder, I will only be posting on DAYS WHEN I HAVE A GAME. 70 Games, 70 Posts. And to help you keep track, I've posted the schedule on the side, as well as a link to my twitter here. If there's a post, you'll here about it there.

But I wanted to take this late evening post opportunity to remind you of what I promised this past Thursday.

No, it's nothing about work. It's not always about me don't you know.

This time, I wanted to tell you what features will be coming your way!

Here's the lineup:

Monday - Music Monday
I know it's unoriginal, but you don't know MY perspective! I'll be featuring one song a day and telling you the importance or relevance of it.

Tuesday - No features

Wednesday - Bugs the Shit out of Me.
You know what this is, and I'm making it a staple. For reminders, look here and here.

Thursday - Thursday's Thoughts of the Day.
This was an easy choice. One, because I'll have absolutely NOTHING to do at work on Thursdays, and it's always slow. And two, because you guys MUST know what i'm thinking... right?

Friday - Film Friday
Pretty self explanatory, I review a recent movie I've seen, or an old favorite. But I will certainly be throwing some in this summer that you most likely haven't seen for some time or never even heard of.

Saturday - No feature
Saturday is too busy for me at work, so I'll most likely make Saturday a quick thing or write something "good" in advance. Sorry!

Sunday - You pick.
I'm hoping this works out... I'll be asking (daily) for your submission of what I should write about. Could be anything at all. Seriously, anything. I'll write it.
We'll see if it actually happens, hopefully it does. Send your stuff in the comments section or a facebook message (for you non-bloggers) and I'd be happy to oblige your interest.

Well that's all folks.

See you on the 19th of April.

Day 3 and I already messed it up!

Well that didn't last long. Let's try this again...

Saturday was pretty eventful, so let me give you the run down and maybe you'll understand why I missed the blog.

Woke up at 7:30 and made my way to the stadium by 8:00 am. There, I called to confirm that one of my employees, Matt, would be there at 8:45 to be the mascot for our upcoming day. Then, I collected the directions and phone numbers of all of the places I was going that day.

By 8:50, we were on the road. Uncle Slam in a bag in my trunk and Matt beside me, headed to Nokesville. There, I met Danny Kopich (Events Coordinator for Nokesville Little League) and as Uncle Slam danced around and met with kids, I spoke to him and his wife about a fundraiser for the league, or a group outing with him and his team.

By 10:40, we were back on the road to Dumfries. We stopped and ate lunch around 11:15, then headed to a little ballpark off 234 to meet with Javier Castro and the Dumfries-Triangle-Quantico Little League at 12:30. Here, I just followed Uncle Slam around while he messed with kids and played on the see-saw.

They thought he was Poppa-Smurf

By 1:30, we were on the road again, this time to Gar-Field High School for the 15th annual News & Messenger Hoops Fest. Uncle Slam had fun and judged the Dunk Contest for a while and I watched the different events from the stands and snapped some pictures.

We left at the end (4:00) and headed to the stadium where Matt would be the mascot for the night. I spend the beginning of the night counting money with Andrew and helping distribute the money drawers for some of the stands (he did most of the work, naturally). Then I spent the evening peddling the Uncle Slam's Kids Club to a host of children and their parents.

At least I wasn't in the suit..

From there, I sold two Kids Club Memberships, helped with on-field stuff, counted a lot of money, and performed regular tom-foolery at the Pfitz.

Then, a miracle happened.

Jim, the Director of Food Service, is a great guy. But, he's not one to give away food for fun. And certainly not beer. As a running joke in the Money Room (the place where profit is counted at the end of the night, and where this picture was taken), we ask Jim to bring us beers. The general response, without a hesitation, is; "What the fuck did you just say to me?" Followed by a smile of course. But, when reminded that I, his employee for a year, intern for another, and friend for two more, had just turned 21 this off-season, he smiled and left the room. Moments later, I was greeted with a tall cool beverage in a 22 oz Pepsi Cup. Because that's how we do it.

..of course, though, it was a Natty Light.


Tarp Sheet

As the devoted readers of this site can tell you, we have a bit of a thing called "tarp" at the P-Nats Stadium.

Well with a new season, we have already begun the tarp madness..

Being a minor league front office staffer, everyone on staff and myself are the "field crew" that runs out onto the field while it's raining to cover up the infield with a giant blanket. It's not fun. It is actually really un-fun.

It takes a lot of help to get that thing on the field.

So, all things considered, it's a lot to deal with. That is why I've had a "tarp count" on the side panel of this blog since I started posting in early 2009. This year I'm going further into detail and posting not only the total for the year, but also the time of the pull, date, if it was during a game, on a game day, if it was a rain out, how "bad" it was, and whether or not I was present (i miss some due to class).

I'll keep you updated on the totals (tab on the side) but the details will be kept in a spreadsheet. I'll post THAT sucker at the end of the season.


New year, new ridiculous goal..

Opening day! Spring! Summer! Warm weather and cold drinks.

Oh and a blog too.

It's the start of the 2010 Potomac Nationals schedule, and that feels like the perfect time to start another blog trend.

Last year, I had a blog post for every day in the year. This time around, I'm imposing a few changes. No more breathing room, and I'll have some feature posts coinciding for days of the week.

Breathing room, as I mean it, was those times last year when I'd have no posts for three days, then six posts in one day. No more. From here on out it is a post for a day, and I have 24 hours to do it.

And the features are still TBD. I have some ideas but I don't want to speculate at this time.

Well we shall see how well this works. Expect content tomorrow.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®


What Women Want

First off, no this isn't a review of the smash hit starring "Braveheart" and "She wasn't that ugly in Twister". No, no today I'll be talking about something I'm sure some guys out there agree with me on.

To preface, my bookmarks for Firefox show up right below the address bar on my browser, and the first icon I see is Yahoo!. Reading Yahoo!, I have to expect shitty writing from sports, music, movies, and just reporting on events, but you HAVE to know the "opinion" articles are going to be really bad.

Case in point, this little ditty here.

Right off the bat, the title is: Top 15 Dating mistakes Guys Make ...so you know it's gonna be something good. And it's written by some pseudonymous woman (or effeminate male) under the name 'stylecaster'.


Let's go through their list shall we?

1. Overly possessive
Ok so I'm not saying that I'm possessive, or that any guy by normal standards is possessive. I think the problem with this woman's statement is that there are at least two different perceptions of "possessive" in play here. For a woman, I can see it as a guy being too quick to jump the relationship forward to "committed" or borderline in love. But the other side of that is, why would a guy be driven to be possessive? Does he have a past history with chicks being snatched up by other guys, or has his past lovers run off with a dentist or something? Does his current lady have a history of leaving relationships because of other men? The real issue here is does the guy have REASON to be possessive.
Dismiss this "mistake" and move on.

2. Gross living space
Yea ok show me a girl who lives in an apartment with other people (no one lives on their own in the real world, and if they do, they have a cleaning lady.... rich mother fuckers) and I'll show you a "gross living space". I have seen some bathrooms exclusively for girls in an apartment and they are WORSE than the hell hole that is currently situated about 15 feet to my left. Dismissed.

3. Acting like a tough guy
Guys are pretending to be "harder" than they really are just to impress a girl? She says, "...why do some guys start stupid, unnecessary scuffles?" and it makes me wonder if she thinks she's dating Tyler Durden or something. Maybe I don't get out enough but if there's a fight, there's a reason for it. Dismissed.

4. Acting differently around your friends
The only thing I have to contribute here is that if a guy likes you, he's gonna show just an ounce of emotion more than what he normally shows. When a guy is with his friends, it's immediately a different scenario. Sure I could say there's testosterone around (which there is) but It's not even that! If I wanna play video games, tell racist jokes and drink beer on a Friday night with my friends, then that's what I'll do. I'm not gonna talk to you or make you feel welcome because of that. Grudgingly accepted.

5. Saying they'll do XYZ with no follow through
We gotta say something for you to take your pants off! Am I right or am I right?
But in all seriousness, she talks about a cell phone or something, I wasn't paying attention, but if we wanted to call you, we would. And if we wanted you to know that we had no intention of calling you, do you think we would tell you? Dismissed.

6. Flirting with/checking out other women
Well maybe you should hit the gym. Dismissed.

7. Baby talk in bed
In my past experience, girls DO want a little baby talk here and there. and the venue doesnt matter. So unless we're doing the no pants dance, I would see no reason to avoid baby talk. Grudgingly Accepted

8. Expecting her to act like your mother
Then you better not expect us to "protect you" or "keep you safe".
We want you to "make me a damn sandwich" because you want us to be there for you when you're scared. And besides, who let you out of the kitchen long enough to write this shitty Yahoo! article? Quickly Dismissed.

9. Letting your friends dictate your life
Ok I agree you shouldn't let you're friends dictate your life, but practice what you preach! I was dumped because the girls friends didn't like me. So, like you said, discuss your relationship with your significant other. Agreed, but with an exception.

10. Threatened by her job
What job? I'll give you a job to do. Dismissed.

..that was terrible.
11. Hypocritical standards
See #9. Dismissed.

12. Not having your own life away from her
It's starting to sound like she ran out of ideas. I already covered this one, practice what you preach. See #9. Dismissed.

13. Bringing up previous relationships
I won't argue it. agreed

14. Treating others poorly
How is this a dating mistake? I was definitely right, she ran out of ideas here. Obviously it's a "red flag" if he treats people badly, but don't you think you should realize that before you're dating? You're an idiot.

15. Inflated ego
I'm just gonna go ahead and agree here too, but at the same I don't to, strictly because of that "overcompensating for something" remark she makes at the end. No decision.

Well all in all, that's what I get for reading fuckin Yahoo! articles.


Bucket List

A few things I need to do before I die:

Watch 12 hours of the complete Star Wars series, and stop. (total run time is about 13:22:00).

Read any part of the bible while attending an Ozzy Concert.

Wear this shirt while attending a church mass.

Design my own professional sports team's uniforms.

Tell a Mountie, "I smell Canadian Bacon!"

Give the finger to the Pope, because he's the pope. And it'd be hilarious.

Ride an elephant while screaming at the top of my lungs, "Hemingway was overrated!"

Take a shit in the woods while wearing a bear suit.

Eat a cat.

Climb a mountain, have a beer, then hang glide down to the ground.

Get my name on an election ticket with no real intention of winning.

Invent something and sell it on late night TV infomercials hosted by a Billy Mays impersonator.

Punch a Yankee in the face. Or a Cowboy.

Go round for round with my dad in a drinking contest, losing miraculously as he pounds an Irish Car bomb. I don't every want to beat him in drinking.

That's right, I said eat a cat.

Meet the Devil himself, and say, "Hey I guess you are real. Well when I go down there for eternity, will you save me a single bedroom apartment? I couldn't stand shacking up with Ashton Kutcher."

Shake Jim Henson's hand. Nevermind.

Own a Bob Ross original painting.

and finally; write a book.