Bucket List

A few things I need to do before I die:

Watch 12 hours of the complete Star Wars series, and stop. (total run time is about 13:22:00).

Read any part of the bible while attending an Ozzy Concert.

Wear this shirt while attending a church mass.

Design my own professional sports team's uniforms.

Tell a Mountie, "I smell Canadian Bacon!"

Give the finger to the Pope, because he's the pope. And it'd be hilarious.

Ride an elephant while screaming at the top of my lungs, "Hemingway was overrated!"

Take a shit in the woods while wearing a bear suit.

Eat a cat.

Climb a mountain, have a beer, then hang glide down to the ground.

Get my name on an election ticket with no real intention of winning.

Invent something and sell it on late night TV infomercials hosted by a Billy Mays impersonator.

Punch a Yankee in the face. Or a Cowboy.

Go round for round with my dad in a drinking contest, losing miraculously as he pounds an Irish Car bomb. I don't every want to beat him in drinking.

That's right, I said eat a cat.

Meet the Devil himself, and say, "Hey I guess you are real. Well when I go down there for eternity, will you save me a single bedroom apartment? I couldn't stand shacking up with Ashton Kutcher."

Shake Jim Henson's hand. Nevermind.

Own a Bob Ross original painting.

and finally; write a book.