4.20.2010

My Own Personal Hell

I've realized, after much thought, what my own personal Hell would be like (if there is in fact an afterlife).

First, I'll die. I mean, we all do. It's just a question of "How" and "When". But when I do, I'll wake up, in a car. Not just any car, but a car with no working Radio, or Air Conditioning, and a bad smell of burning rubber.

As I awake in this car, I'll look around to understand what's going on. I'll see in the car with me a nondescript overweight man. He'll be wearing a hooded sweatshirt, even though it's well over 90 degrees, and sweating profusely. I look further and realize I am in a small cramped hatchback in bumper to bumper traffic. It's at this time that I think, maybe I am in purgatory. I am no where and yet I am somewhere at the same time. This road must lead somewhere, most likely my final destination of either Heaven or Hell.

The nondescript man begins to talk, and his voice has an accent I've heard before. A southern accent, with long drawing sentences instead of one word responses to my queries. A simple question of, "Where are we?" will lead to a 12 minute response with unnecessary back stories and "funny" stories, only all of his stories will have no meaning and have no semblance of a punchline.

I glance behind to see if there are anymore occupants in this cramped hatchback, but no one is there. Just a stained and empty back seat. There is a styrofoam cup of water in the cupholder next to me. I take a swig and finish the last amount of ice cold liquid to satisfy my thirst. Then, after downing the cup and tossing it out the window, I have the feeling of "Nature's Call." The doors are locked and there is no way to relive myself. Any desperate attempts to "go" are met with the feeling that it is not possible to do so.

As I am moving inch by inch on a sun parched highway, I cannot see the cause of the traffic jam in the distance. I can only guess, but I will never know the real answer. I tell myself to take the next exit, only no exit will come. All the while, in the back of my mind, a nagging feeling of, "I'm almost there" and "This has to lead somewhere" will keep me driving.

This scenario will play on for all eternity until the end of time.

That, my friends, is my own personal Hell.

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