Abe Lincoln, frat boy?

I looked it up, and apparently Abraham Lincoln did not attend school, but educated himself. I wonder, had Abe Lincoln gone to college, would he be a frat boy douche?

First, let us define Frat Boy. There. Now that you're back from that, imagine Abe being "that guy" at a party.

McKendree University being the only possible school in his state at the time, would have been his school of choice. So going back to our definition, Honest Abe would ever so douchingly be wearing a purple bobcat visor with multiple popped collars and a smug grin on his face.

He served in the state government of Illinois after he undoubtedly won the job over a more qualified guy because he was in the same frat as the current governor. And that whole "President" thing was just a joke he played on his brothers who owned slaves in South Carolina.

I'll leave you with an image of our 16th president that I found in the archives of Illinois, taken approximately in 1829.





I'm totally kidding, I have no problem with frat boys.