Bigtinypig's Blog

Music Monday Vol. 4 - Phoenix, "Consolation Prizes"

2010-05-24T19:03:00.001-04:00

Well it's Monday, and that means I get to shove my opinions in your face.

This time around it's Phoenix, "Consolation Prizes". Now most of you would know Phoenix, if at all, from this commercial. That's their song "1901". Another great song by Phoenix, but it's lost its flair now that Cadillac played the shit out of that commercial.

However, this next one really is worth the listen. Sticking to the theme of "good video = good song" from the past few weeks; Phoenix's best video (that I know of) is below.

Click the image to continue (Youtube video)

Not bad huh? This is one of those songs that I'll beat the crap out of my dashboard while listening to in the car.

Other good songs by Phoenix:

Sometimes in the Fall

North

Napoleon Says

Lisztomania

Lasso

Really, it's hard not to recommend just going out and purchasing two of their albums. "It's Never Been Like That", and "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix" are just fantastic.

See you tomorrow with more goodies.

Film Friday: Joe Versus the Volcano

2010-05-14T11:46:00.007-04:00

If there's ever a movie that doesn't get the credit that it deserves, it's this one.

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan Co-Star in their FIRST role together (before Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail). With director John Patrick Shanley, who has done absolutely nothing of mention, this film uses imagery and metaphor to illustrate a man struggling to escape a boring routine of a life.

The first quarter of the movie illustrates the antagonist Joe Banks (Hanks), in his dead end job at a factory. The incandescent lights have flooded his windowless office with bright, lifeless, humming luminescence. He's battled this by bringing in his very own lamp that his boss quickly removes the lamp. This is one of many images of losing one's soul throughout the movie.

One great thing about this film, that I think has been killed by directors in recent years, is one actor playing several roles. Meg Ryan plays the office maiden DeDe (below), Angelica Graynamore (the "flibbertigibbet"), and her half-sister and captain Patricia Graynamore (pictured in the lei below). Each of Ryan's three characters play a distinctive role and different personality to Joe's situation. It's not as campy as the description suggests, and it's just a little extra time to look at the attractive Meg Ryan, before she went under the knife in the late nineties.

Once Joe Banks and Patricia Graynamore head to the island (I won't ruin the plot for you) the visual quality of the movie goes from the above still, to the following two. It really is a noticeable change, and another use of imagery to develop Banks as a character.

Kinda looks like Hanks in Castaway.... No?

I'll leave you with one more still of the film, this one from the Island Chief, and a word. If you've ever felt like your life was "under a cloud" and that there was no where to go but up, then you would enjoy this movie. I know I'm a Tom Hanks enthusiast, and that shouldn't sway your opinion. Truthfully, I wouldn't have heard of this movie without liking Hanks as much as I do, but had I seen it without liking Hanks... Well it would still be one of my top 15 movies.

Abe Vigoda in his best make-up ever.

I give it 4 and a half Desk Lamps, out of 5.

Thursday Throwbacks - Vol. 1

2010-05-13T19:03:00.000-04:00

Something different, since I'm not prepared to write a "Thoughts of the Day" post.

I wanted to pay omage to my 2009 post a day by throwing back to a particular post that I found enjoyable in some way. Today, I want to look at a three part series from June and July.

The Men's Room.

Here are the links; Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

I really liked writing this because it was something that I could have fun with. If you haven't read it, go ahead and take a look.

What's funny about this series is that I remember writing them all on extremely slow days at work. Often during the summer months I'll have a day where no calls came in to the office and no one walked up to the ticket window. It was those days (and rain days) that I had nothing to occupy me but the blog.

I really look forward to this summer for more of the same. My creative juices got flowing last year and my post quality went up because of it.

Well tomorrow's another day, so check back around gametime (7:03 pm) for another addtion of Film Friday.

Bugs the Shit out of Me: Not Understanding Star Trek

2010-05-11T19:03:00.001-04:00

You know what brings my piss to a boil? When I'm having a conversation with some friends, and they make a Star Trek reference.

First; I have to defend myself and my friends. No, we don't talk about Star Trek on anything close to a daily basis. I can count on two hands the amount of times the following has happening to me, so it's not as common occurrence as you may think.

We'll be talking about something and then out of no where I'll someone name-drop Captain Kirk. Who the fuck is Captain Kirk? What is a Spock? And where the hell is Klingon?

This really does bug me, but at the same time, I don't want to understand Star Trek. I feel I've claimed a higher level of coolness for not knowing which is the superior officer, Picard or Kirk.

And wasn't Shatner in this show? Dammit Rocket Man!

Music Monday Vol. 3 - Of Montreal, "Id Engager"

2010-05-11T12:20:00.003-04:00

With my first installment of Music Monday, I focused on the videos of OK Go. With today's entry (which is two days late, but I'm going to make it up anyway), we have a similar story.

Sophomore year of college, I got into the habit of turning on MTV U (the only MTV channel that plays more music than anything else) and leaving it on as my "radio" while I do homework or browse facebook and ESPN. Sometime during the year, this video came up;

That's Of Montreal's "Id Engager". Not bad if I do say so myself.

I haven't yet looked into a lot of their music, but the three songs I do know are pretty solid. A little weirder than most of the music that I enjoy, but still a good tune to nod your head to.

Paul's Weird Collections: Pennants!

2010-05-10T22:57:00.005-04:00

Well, when I finally leave this world, no one can say that I didn't spend some time collecting junk. I'm going to begin posting my weird collections on a somewhat regular basis, and I thought today was as good as any to start.

So, with day one; pennants! Below is my first set.

Now, in this picture, we have quite a bit to talk about. Starting from the top row of vertical pennants, we have two that I have absolutely no interest in. While purchasing a pennant on eBay, these two came with it. The far left is the 1998 NHL All-Star Game in Vancouver, and on it's immediate right is the Gretzky era LA Kings. Next we have the Washington Federals (of USFL fame). We're then followed by the Washington Capitals (ick on the color scheme) and the Washington Bullets (damn that's sexy). The bottom right of the photo features the Norfolk Tides, Richmond Braves, Alexandria Dukes, Washington Nationals (2005), and the Potomac Cannons (approx 2003). Then the far right of the frame, you'll see the 2008 Potomac Nationals, 2007 Potomac Nationals, Washington Nationals (1901-1961), and the Washington Senators (1961-1972).

Next, we have an assortment of Redskins pennants, from top left down; 1991 NFC Champions, 1987 Super Bowl match-up, 1987 NFC Championship, 1982 NFC Champions (dig the curved feathers under the helmet), the 1937-86 50 year anniversary (sponsored by Shell). The right side has four more; the standard helmet, but this one has a Happy First Birthday inscription on the back from my dad (1990). Below we have, 1991 NFC Championship, 1991 Super Bowl Championship, and 1991 Super Bowl Championship.

This next one's a little more fun. On top we have three standard redskins helmet, but the bottom 6 are my favorites in the whole batch. We have (from the left) the Yellow Shell "R" helmet, the indian head logo from the 30's, another really old one with a running man image, and on the bottom right of the picture, three of the same pennant. the 1982 Super Bowl Championship pennant. Again, love the curved feathers!

This one is the weirdest, now. Can anyone tell me why they made an 1983 AFC Championship pennant for a team that LOST the AFC Championship to the Oakland Raiders?

Thoughts of the Day 5/6

2010-05-06T19:03:00.000-04:00

If I had a superpower, it would be to absorb knowledge like Osmosis. With that power, I can kill exams and papers. Oh and flying.

There are three kinds of people in this world; People who like blueberry pop-tarts with frosting, people who don't like blueberry pop-tarts with frosting, and people who don't give a shit. I fall under the first category.

So many moments in my life are spent wishing I was doing something else, i.e., sleeping, eating, reading, or enjoying a sporting event. But there are just as many moments in my life that I spend wishing I was a wizard. Or a superhero.

If someone had a gun to my head and told me that I had to leave the country, and that I had to pick a country to go to, I would pick Australia. But then when the guy takes the gun away from my head I'd go to Canada, because no one would ever look for me in Canada.

Here's a quick math problem for you;
8 tarp pulls in 14 games = 57.14%
70 games = 39.99 tarp pulls.
I like those odds. But the nerd in me wants to run a weighted average using the data from last year to back me up. There are more tarp pulls (statistically) in May then in any other month, then June, April, July, August, and September.

Bill and I have tossed around the idea of a podcast on our blogs. We would talk about TV, Sports, Music, and Movies. We just need an idea for a name, and what day of the week we'll do it. Ideas?

Bugs the Shit out of Me: Facebook Nicknames

2010-05-05T19:03:00.000-04:00

Know what really bugs the shit out of me? When people on facebook think it's awesome to have stupid ass nicknames. No, you're not "fresh" or "ballin'". No, you aren't original and I can safely say that no one calls you that.

My solution: hide those people from my news feed. Repeat offenders get deleted all together.

Single Riders Line

2010-05-04T17:37:00.001-04:00

Let me ask you a question, have you ever gone through the singles rider's line at an amusement park? I love that thing. You get to have fun and you're not sitting in line for hours.

So why can't there be more of these in life?

..Have you ever been in the mood to go out to eat, but don't have anyone to go to?

Are there any nights that you want to go to the movies, but you don't have a date, or just a friend in town to meet you?

Have no fear, Single-Riders Line is here!

Now you can go to that fancy restaurant and sit at a big table with complete strangers instead of a bad date!

Instead of bowling alone, you can show up and head to the single riders section and bowl!

Yea.. Maybe there would be too many creepy people.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Music Monday Vol. 2 - Spoon

2010-05-03T19:03:00.000-04:00

This time, I focus more on the artist that started it all, rather than the song.

But first... a story.

It was fall of 2007, and I was visiting a special someone in Richmond. We went to Short Pump Mall and as she was in the changing room at American Eagle, I sat (yea there were chairs at the time) and watched the TV playing music videos. On comes this video and it was one of those songs I couldn't get out of my head.

Now, normally I wouldn't recommend ANYTHING from American Eagle for the strict reason that it was from American Eagle. But I make an exception for this group.

Spoon has been around for sometime now. Spanning from 1996 to now, the indie-rock group from Austin, Texas has released seven albums (the previously mentioned "The Underdog" is from the 2007 album entitled, Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga) and numerous EP's and Singles.

I've written in the past how music tends to create memories and stick to certain events in my life. Which is true, but for some reason, this group doesn't evoke memories of a past relationship. Luckily, I wouldn't say the above story "ruins" the song or anything for me, on the contrary, I remember the song and the fact that I was sitting in an American Eagle more than that day or the person I was with.

So, for your listening pleasure, I give you Spoon.

Joan Polk Harrington

2010-04-25T16:41:00.001-04:00

February 17, 1930 - April 19, 2010

I love you and I miss you.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Saturday and another news.

2010-04-24T18:35:00.000-04:00

Uncle Slam and his adoring Fans.

As you may have been able to tell, this week has been crazy. I'm taking this opportunity to put up a quick post to remind you of things to come. Tomorrow is the last game of the homestand, so that means no more posts after tomorrow until the 3rd of May. Also, since tomorrow is Sunday, I'm supposed to have YOU readers out there pick what I write about. Well, I'm not ashamed to say it, I've had Zero suggestions. I'm gonna go ahead and scrap that feature and just write what ever I desire.

Your loss!

I haven't been updating the tarp count as it happens, but rest assured it will always be up-to-date by the end of the week.

And finally, another little news item, I will be working with Bill to get the Family Guy rating posted on the sites in the future.

Well have a good weekend, and take care.

Film Friday: Saving Private Ryan

2010-04-23T19:03:00.000-04:00

Ahh.. Why do I love this movie? Let me count the ways..

For those of you who haven't seen this, where have you been? It came out over 10 years ago. You've had your chance.

Let's start from the beginning. Stephen Spielberg directing and Tom Hanks starring, along with several solid performances by the supporting cast. Tom steals the show, and thankfully, if this movie was about Matt Damon, I think it would have blew.

Going back to what I said about the supporting cast; Tom Sizemore, Adam Goldberg, Giovanni Ribisi and (surprisingly) Vin Diesel all add to the story, and their characters are relate-able if not identifiable in some way to the viewer. It's nice when the main characters are great, but when the supporting cast brings you into the story like these guys did, it makes the experience better.

And the gore.. Oh the gore.. If there is a better opening sequence to open a film than storming the beach of Normandy, I don't wanna see it. That opening kicked ass.

Unfortunately my only complaint is Matt Damon. I normally like him, but in this role he comes off as a bitch. This platoon of men led by Tom Hanks' character, Miller, are sent to pick up Private James Ryan (Damon) whose brothers have all perished in the war. On the way to rescue Ryan, two of Miller's men have fallen. Yet when Miller and his men reach Ryan, Ryan wants to stay. He says that "these are my brothers" (referencing his platoon members) and refuses to leave.

If Ryan hadn't been such a dick and let Miller take him home, Miller wouldn't have died on the bridge because of some dumb fucking German.

Anyway, it's a great film. You should check it out if you haven't seen it, but I'm sure you have. It's really a great story and the visuals are fantastic by today's standards, and this was filmed in the late 90's.

See you tomorrow.

Thoughts of the Day: 4/22

2010-04-22T19:03:00.000-04:00

Is there a better (or worse, depending on how you look at it) song to get stuck in your head than "Highway to the Danger Zone"? I don't think so. ..Sorry about getting that stuck in your head by the way.

I don't know what's worse, drinking coffee with the wrong mixture of cream and sugar, or not drinking coffee at all. I know it may sound like I'm a coffee addict (what with my body hating me at 3:00 pm) but I'm really not. I just like the feeling of being awake in the morning more than the feeling of death.

Why does my left contact always pop loose.. {rubs left eye} I'm gonna start calling my left eye "Lisa Left-Eye".

Does anyone else out there like Ben Folds as I do? I've been on a big Ben Folds kick since last summer and I've had his songs playing on shuffle all week.

How many times do you think everyone in existence has said the phrase "That's what she said"? It's probably a hell of a lot. I bet the first time someone said it, it was probably not a joke. But the first time it was meant as a joke was probably hilarious.

Well that's all for today.

Bugs the Shit out of Me: 3:30 in the afternoon.

2010-04-21T19:03:00.000-04:00

You've seen the commercials for "5-Hour Energy" regarding the afternoon crash for people right? Well you know that feeling when you just get extremely exhausted at around 3-4:30?

I f**king hate that feeling.

Today, I left work around 3:15 refreshed and ready to go, and by the time I was on the road and headed to class, I was dead tired.

Why the hell does my body say, "Hey Paul, F**K YOU!" at 3:00 pm? That's Bull Shit. I work hard to keep my body happy and take naps whenever I can, I eat good food, and I get a good work out. So why do I get punished by Mr. Sleepy time every weekday afternoon?

So you know what I say to that? Coffee. Yea that's right Body, I'm gonna drown you with legal addictive stimulants until you wake the f**k up. I'm tired of your needy shit and I'm gonna do what I wanna do.

God dammit body. You're an asshole. You bitch and moan until I do what you want me to do, and then when I do it, it's not good enough.

Bring on the caffeine. Whore.

My Own Personal Hell

2010-04-20T10:30:00.000-04:00

I've realized, after much thought, what my own personal Hell would be like (if there is in fact an afterlife).

First, I'll die. I mean, we all do. It's just a question of "How" and "When". But when I do, I'll wake up, in a car. Not just any car, but a car with no working Radio, or Air Conditioning, and a bad smell of burning rubber.

As I awake in this car, I'll look around to understand what's going on. I'll see in the car with me a nondescript overweight man. He'll be wearing a hooded sweatshirt, even though it's well over 90 degrees, and sweating profusely. I look further and realize I am in a small cramped hatchback in bumper to bumper traffic. It's at this time that I think, maybe I am in purgatory. I am no where and yet I am somewhere at the same time. This road must lead somewhere, most likely my final destination of either Heaven or Hell.

The nondescript man begins to talk, and his voice has an accent I've heard before. A southern accent, with long drawing sentences instead of one word responses to my queries. A simple question of, "Where are we?" will lead to a 12 minute response with unnecessary back stories and "funny" stories, only all of his stories will have no meaning and have no semblance of a punchline.

I glance behind to see if there are anymore occupants in this cramped hatchback, but no one is there. Just a stained and empty back seat. There is a styrofoam cup of water in the cupholder next to me. I take a swig and finish the last amount of ice cold liquid to satisfy my thirst. Then, after downing the cup and tossing it out the window, I have the feeling of "Nature's Call." The doors are locked and there is no way to relive myself. Any desperate attempts to "go" are met with the feeling that it is not possible to do so.

As I am moving inch by inch on a sun parched highway, I cannot see the cause of the traffic jam in the distance. I can only guess, but I will never know the real answer. I tell myself to take the next exit, only no exit will come. All the while, in the back of my mind, a nagging feeling of, "I'm almost there" and "This has to lead somewhere" will keep me driving.

This scenario will play on for all eternity until the end of time.

That, my friends, is my own personal Hell.

Music Monday Vol. 1 - "Here it Goes Again" by OK Go

2010-04-19T19:03:00.002-04:00

Well there's a game tonight, which means it's time to post!

"Here it Goes Again" by OK Go

You've probably seen the music video, it erupted The Internets a few years back, but in case you missed it;

Not only is the video great, but the song is pretty darn good too. Sweet guitar with an even better drum line throughout the song. I'm not music analyst but this is definitely something I can bob my head to.

Now what you may not know is that this group, OK Go, has so much more to offer than one song. There are several things by them that I really like, and (you guessed it) each one has a solid video to go along with it.

And the songs they have that I haven't seen videos for are just as good. Like "All is Not Lost", "Needing / Getting" and "Don't Ask Me".

So check OK Go out. They really deserve a look beyond the occasional chuckle at a music video.

For day 4, something different.

2010-04-11T20:20:00.002-04:00

First, as a reminder, I will only be posting on DAYS WHEN I HAVE A GAME. 70 Games, 70 Posts. And to help you keep track, I've posted the schedule on the side, as well as a link to my twitter here. If there's a post, you'll here about it there.

But I wanted to take this late evening post opportunity to remind you of what I promised this past Thursday.

No, it's nothing about work. It's not always about me don't you know.

This time, I wanted to tell you what features will be coming your way!

Here's the lineup:

Monday - Music Monday
I know it's unoriginal, but you don't know MY perspective! I'll be featuring one song a day and telling you the importance or relevance of it.

Tuesday - No features
sorry!

Wednesday - Bugs the Shit out of Me.
You know what this is, and I'm making it a staple. For reminders, look here and here.

Thursday - Thursday's Thoughts of the Day.
This was an easy choice. One, because I'll have absolutely NOTHING to do at work on Thursdays, and it's always slow. And two, because you guys MUST know what i'm thinking... right?

Friday - Film Friday
Pretty self explanatory, I review a recent movie I've seen, or an old favorite. But I will certainly be throwing some in this summer that you most likely haven't seen for some time or never even heard of.

Saturday - No feature
Saturday is too busy for me at work, so I'll most likely make Saturday a quick thing or write something "good" in advance. Sorry!

Sunday - You pick.
I'm hoping this works out... I'll be asking (daily) for your submission of what I should write about. Could be anything at all. Seriously, anything. I'll write it.
We'll see if it actually happens, hopefully it does. Send your stuff in the comments section or a facebook message (for you non-bloggers) and I'd be happy to oblige your interest.

Well that's all folks.

See you on the 19th of April.

Day 3 and I already messed it up!

2010-04-11T19:55:00.004-04:00

Well that didn't last long. Let's try this again...

Saturday was pretty eventful, so let me give you the run down and maybe you'll understand why I missed the blog.

Woke up at 7:30 and made my way to the stadium by 8:00 am. There, I called to confirm that one of my employees, Matt, would be there at 8:45 to be the mascot for our upcoming day. Then, I collected the directions and phone numbers of all of the places I was going that day.

By 8:50, we were on the road. Uncle Slam in a bag in my trunk and Matt beside me, headed to Nokesville. There, I met Danny Kopich (Events Coordinator for Nokesville Little League) and as Uncle Slam danced around and met with kids, I spoke to him and his wife about a fundraiser for the league, or a group outing with him and his team.

By 10:40, we were back on the road to Dumfries. We stopped and ate lunch around 11:15, then headed to a little ballpark off 234 to meet with Javier Castro and the Dumfries-Triangle-Quantico Little League at 12:30. Here, I just followed Uncle Slam around while he messed with kids and played on the see-saw.

They thought he was Poppa-Smurf

By 1:30, we were on the road again, this time to Gar-Field High School for the 15th annual News & Messenger Hoops Fest. Uncle Slam had fun and judged the Dunk Contest for a while and I watched the different events from the stands and snapped some pictures.

We left at the end (4:00) and headed to the stadium where Matt would be the mascot for the night. I spend the beginning of the night counting money with Andrew and helping distribute the money drawers for some of the stands (he did most of the work, naturally). Then I spent the evening peddling the Uncle Slam's Kids Club to a host of children and their parents.

At least I wasn't in the suit..

From there, I sold two Kids Club Memberships, helped with on-field stuff, counted a lot of money, and performed regular tom-foolery at the Pfitz.

Then, a miracle happened.

Jim, the Director of Food Service, is a great guy. But, he's not one to give away food for fun. And certainly not beer. As a running joke in the Money Room (the place where profit is counted at the end of the night, and where this picture was taken), we ask Jim to bring us beers. The general response, without a hesitation, is; "What the fuck did you just say to me?" Followed by a smile of course. But, when reminded that I, his employee for a year, intern for another, and friend for two more, had just turned 21 this off-season, he smiled and left the room. Moments later, I was greeted with a tall cool beverage in a 22 oz Pepsi Cup. Because that's how we do it.

..of course, though, it was a Natty Light.

Tarp Sheet

2010-04-09T10:35:00.000-04:00

As the devoted readers of this site can tell you, we have a bit of a thing called "tarp" at the P-Nats Stadium.

Well with a new season, we have already begun the tarp madness..

Being a minor league front office staffer, everyone on staff and myself are the "field crew" that runs out onto the field while it's raining to cover up the infield with a giant blanket. It's not fun. It is actually really un-fun.

It takes a lot of help to get that thing on the field.

So, all things considered, it's a lot to deal with. That is why I've had a "tarp count" on the side panel of this blog since I started posting in early 2009. This year I'm going further into detail and posting not only the total for the year, but also the time of the pull, date, if it was during a game, on a game day, if it was a rain out, how "bad" it was, and whether or not I was present (i miss some due to class).

I'll keep you updated on the totals (tab on the side) but the details will be kept in a spreadsheet. I'll post THAT sucker at the end of the season.

New year, new ridiculous goal..

2010-04-08T15:44:00.001-04:00

Opening day! Spring! Summer! Warm weather and cold drinks.

Oh and a blog too.

It's the start of the 2010 Potomac Nationals schedule, and that feels like the perfect time to start another blog trend.

Last year, I had a blog post for every day in the year. This time around, I'm imposing a few changes. No more breathing room, and I'll have some feature posts coinciding for days of the week.

Breathing room, as I mean it, was those times last year when I'd have no posts for three days, then six posts in one day. No more. From here on out it is a post for a day, and I have 24 hours to do it.

And the features are still TBD. I have some ideas but I don't want to speculate at this time.

Well we shall see how well this works. Expect content tomorrow.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

What Women Want

2010-04-03T10:38:00.000-04:00

First off, no this isn't a review of the smash hit starring "Braveheart" and "She wasn't that ugly in Twister". No, no today I'll be talking about something I'm sure some guys out there agree with me on.

To preface, my bookmarks for Firefox show up right below the address bar on my browser, and the first icon I see is Yahoo!. Reading Yahoo!, I have to expect shitty writing from sports, music, movies, and just reporting on events, but you HAVE to know the "opinion" articles are going to be really bad.

Case in point, this little ditty here.

Right off the bat, the title is: Top 15 Dating mistakes Guys Make ...so you know it's gonna be something good. And it's written by some pseudonymous woman (or effeminate male) under the name 'stylecaster'.

..sigh.

Let's go through their list shall we?

1. Overly possessive
Ok so I'm not saying that I'm possessive, or that any guy by normal standards is possessive. I think the problem with this woman's statement is that there are at least two different perceptions of "possessive" in play here. For a woman, I can see it as a guy being too quick to jump the relationship forward to "committed" or borderline in love. But the other side of that is, why would a guy be driven to be possessive? Does he have a past history with chicks being snatched up by other guys, or has his past lovers run off with a dentist or something? Does his current lady have a history of leaving relationships because of other men? The real issue here is does the guy have REASON to be possessive.
Dismiss this "mistake" and move on.

2. Gross living space
Yea ok show me a girl who lives in an apartment with other people (no one lives on their own in the real world, and if they do, they have a cleaning lady.... rich mother fuckers) and I'll show you a "gross living space". I have seen some bathrooms exclusively for girls in an apartment and they are WORSE than the hell hole that is currently situated about 15 feet to my left. Dismissed.

3. Acting like a tough guy
Guys are pretending to be "harder" than they really are just to impress a girl? She says, "...why do some guys start stupid, unnecessary scuffles?" and it makes me wonder if she thinks she's dating Tyler Durden or something. Maybe I don't get out enough but if there's a fight, there's a reason for it. Dismissed.

4. Acting differently around your friends
The only thing I have to contribute here is that if a guy likes you, he's gonna show just an ounce of emotion more than what he normally shows. When a guy is with his friends, it's immediately a different scenario. Sure I could say there's testosterone around (which there is) but It's not even that! If I wanna play video games, tell racist jokes and drink beer on a Friday night with my friends, then that's what I'll do. I'm not gonna talk to you or make you feel welcome because of that. Grudgingly accepted.

5. Saying they'll do XYZ with no follow through
We gotta say something for you to take your pants off! Am I right or am I right?
But in all seriousness, she talks about a cell phone or something, I wasn't paying attention, but if we wanted to call you, we would. And if we wanted you to know that we had no intention of calling you, do you think we would tell you? Dismissed.

6. Flirting with/checking out other women
Well maybe you should hit the gym. Dismissed.

7. Baby talk in bed
In my past experience, girls DO want a little baby talk here and there. and the venue doesnt matter. So unless we're doing the no pants dance, I would see no reason to avoid baby talk. Grudgingly Accepted

8. Expecting her to act like your mother
Then you better not expect us to "protect you" or "keep you safe".
We want you to "make me a damn sandwich" because you want us to be there for you when you're scared. And besides, who let you out of the kitchen long enough to write this shitty Yahoo! article? Quickly Dismissed.

9. Letting your friends dictate your life
Ok I agree you shouldn't let you're friends dictate your life, but practice what you preach! I was dumped because the girls friends didn't like me. So, like you said, discuss your relationship with your significant other. Agreed, but with an exception.

10. Threatened by her job
What job? I'll give you a job to do. Dismissed.

..that was terrible.
11. Hypocritical standards
See #9. Dismissed.

12. Not having your own life away from her
It's starting to sound like she ran out of ideas. I already covered this one, practice what you preach. See #9. Dismissed.

13. Bringing up previous relationships
I won't argue it. agreed

14. Treating others poorly
How is this a dating mistake? I was definitely right, she ran out of ideas here. Obviously it's a "red flag" if he treats people badly, but don't you think you should realize that before you're dating? You're an idiot.

15. Inflated ego
I'm just gonna go ahead and agree here too, but at the same I don't to, strictly because of that "overcompensating for something" remark she makes at the end. No decision.

Well all in all, that's what I get for reading fuckin Yahoo! articles.

Bucket List

2010-04-02T17:17:00.002-04:00

A few things I need to do before I die:

Watch 12 hours of the complete Star Wars series, and stop. (total run time is about 13:22:00).

Read any part of the bible while attending an Ozzy Concert.

Wear this shirt while attending a church mass.

Design my own professional sports team's uniforms.

Tell a Mountie, "I smell Canadian Bacon!"

Give the finger to the Pope, because he's the pope. And it'd be hilarious.

Ride an elephant while screaming at the top of my lungs, "Hemingway was overrated!"

Take a shit in the woods while wearing a bear suit.

Eat a cat.

Climb a mountain, have a beer, then hang glide down to the ground.

Get my name on an election ticket with no real intention of winning.

Invent something and sell it on late night TV infomercials hosted by a Billy Mays impersonator.

Punch a Yankee in the face. Or a Cowboy.

Go round for round with my dad in a drinking contest, losing miraculously as he pounds an Irish Car bomb. I don't every want to beat him in drinking.

That's right, I said eat a cat.

Meet the Devil himself, and say, "Hey I guess you are real. Well when I go down there for eternity, will you save me a single bedroom apartment? I couldn't stand shacking up with Ashton Kutcher."

~~Shake Jim Henson's hand.~~ Nevermind.

Own a Bob Ross original painting.

and finally; write a book.

Music Monday

2010-03-22T13:05:00.005-04:00

I've always considered myself a connoisseur of music, a renaissance man if you will. For me, there's not a genre I haven't enjoyed at some point in my life (Yes, Country and Polka music included). But there are always the tracks that slip through cracks.

I've collected a few songs below that I feel have missed my generation. I'll let you listen to it, then give my two cents below. And if you're at work or in a place where you can't listen to music, I would probably use headphones. Not because of noise disturbing your co-workers or library patrons, but because most of these songs suck.

Electric Light Orchestra - "Mr. Blue Sky"

I came across this one a while back, I don't recall when exactly. The thing about this song is it always seems to get me psyched when it's raining or even when it's completely sunny outside.

This next one is a mixed bag for me;

Dire Straits - "Sultans of Swing"

Dire Straits was always one of those bands (for me) that had good songs, but as my good friend Bill Kenney reminded me, a lot of their success in the 80's was strictly commercial. The song "Money for Nothing" was THE commercial for MTV (back when they played music videos, I know it's hard to remember).

That being said, this song "Sultans of Swing" was a huge hit for me. It always reminds me of my dad, who has been a little on the country side.

Rupert Holmes - "Escape"

I've wrote about this song before over here. Despite what I said in it's lyrics, the song itself, and as a whole, is fantastic.

Hall and Oates - "Private Eyes"

Hall and Oates, as I know them, have been the butt of jokes for about 10 years now. I understand why, I mean the homoerotic tones these dudes give off is in itself hilarious. The music is generally bad, but this one is good enough.

Asia - "Heat of the Moment"

I remember these guys really from being a joke in South Park and in 40 year old virgin. They're still kind of a joke to me, but this song is good enough to really enjoy with the windows down in the summer.

Or while watching South Park.

Bryan Adams - "(Everything I Do) I Do it for You"

Due to Family Guy, everytime I here this little diddy, I start to sing in my best Stewie impression.

Mustard

2010-03-09T17:21:00.001-05:00

Sitting in Ihop, there is a tray of condiments. Of course there are four varieties of syrup and the go-to salt and pepper shakers. There's ketchup, steak sauce, chalula, and tabasco.

And then there's mustard.

I love mustard, first of all, but I have a problem with its presence on my table at this moment. You see the ketchup bottle is plastic, the hot sauces are liquid, and yet the mustard in its clumpy spreadable glory is in a glass bottle. My childhood, as I'm sure yours was too, was full of slapping the sides of ketchup bottles. I thought we had moved past this. Why would they have a glass mustard bottle and a plastic ketchup bottle?

Now the symbol of the heinz ketchup bottle is iconic. It springs memories of home cooking and comfort. But how many people below the age of 30 have ever used a glass mustard bottle? No. Not the grey poupon jar, I'm talking about a full sized bottle. Bush league. I'm glad we've finally moved away from the glass bottle mustard and relish and mayo, but I can tolerate a glass ketchup bottle for the nostalgia factor.

Get it together ihop.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

The Streak is Over

2010-03-04T13:59:00.002-05:00

I remember it well, Winter of early 2008, I was sitting in my then-office at the Stadium eating a sausage mcgriddle..

Weeks later I realized it had been awhile since I had eaten anything from the D's.

Then it was months later.

And I knew, I was giving up McDonalds.

Well, it has been over two years, and Tuesday evening, as I was driving home from a community event with Uncle Slam, we stopped to grab a bite to eat. I ordered the 10 piece Chicken McNugget, a Dr. Pepper, and a Medium Fry. The Streak had ended.

The feeling of exuberance of eating those salty fries and dipping the joyous nuggets in BBQ sauce was only mired by the subtle guilt I felt for breaking the streak.

Then, two days later, I found myself slurping on a Shamrock Shake and pounding down fistfuls of french fries while fending off a Filet o' Fish.. That's right. Two visits in three days, while I had close to 900 days away from the stuff. I think I may be falling into a bad habit.

One of my favorite South Park moments

2010-03-03T23:45:00.001-05:00

..because anytime butters can call someone a fag is awesome.

Butters: Uh, uhm no thanks. I love life.

Stan: Huh? But you just got dumped.

Butters: Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid.

Goth Kid: Yeah.

Stan: No. No, Butters, that doesn't sound stupid at all.

Butters: Well, thanks for offering to let me in your clique, guys, but, to be honest, I'd rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy Goth kid.

Credit Card

2010-03-02T11:07:00.004-05:00

Being a young sprightly 21 year old, I have a student checking account. I should have branched out and added a Credit Card a few years ago, but I didn't. Apparently building credit was never high on my priorities list. To be fair, growing up was never high on my priorities list either but, what can you do!

Needless to say, I'm going somewhere with this. I applied for a credit card recently, and got accepted after a quick (albeit limited) credit check. And what do you know, I get to design my own card! That's right I went with Capital One.

Now I would have preferred to go with someone, you know, cheaper as far as interest rates and "membership fees" go, but they accept applicants with a very limited credit history. I figured it was worth the chance.

So in designing my card, I decided to upload a picture I took, what do you think?

I think it came out nicely, too bad they spelled my name wrong.

When it actually comes in the mail, we'll see how it turned out. But I think I made the right choice as far as pictures go. Besides, their policy of "no lude or inappropriate images" hindered my options a bit. So long baby photo of me naked on a bear skin rug...

Why I hate Crosby

2010-03-01T19:52:00.004-05:00

What kind of class is that? This is from the postseason in 2009. He's complaining to the ref about fans (home team fans, its not like they were in pittsburgh) throwing hats onto the ice after OV's hat trick. Hike your skirt up sidney and let the fans be fans.

Jabo0odyDubs

2010-02-28T18:45:00.003-05:00

This is probably the funniest Billy Mays dub i've ever seen.

Check out there channel here. Jabo0dyDubs.

Find those errors

2010-02-28T11:07:00.003-05:00

Last week I posted a link to my profile with the Nationals, here.

There are 4 mistakes, two grammatical, and two factual.

Can you spot them? No? Yea well here they are.

First circle; my birthday is 1/5/89
Second circle; "seeing" is spelled "eeing" and "Long walks on the beach, thunderstorms..." has a few unnecessary capital letters.
Third circle; my email address is right, but it takes you to a different person. astinson(at)potomacnationals(dot)com

Well that was fun wasn't it!

I'm back! and now for something completely different.

2010-02-25T11:17:00.002-05:00

Ok so I wasn't a fan of tumblr. I liked the novelty at first but it just wasn't for me.

This is what will happen, I will continue to post on tumblr, but it will only be the stuff from here on blogger. That way I can still be active on both ends.

But this particular post will be blogger exclusive. So enjoy!

--

Have you ever really listened to "Escape" by Rupert Holmes? When you really think about it, it's a song about two people that are actively pursuing an affair!

Without posting the lyrics, the story is a guy is unhappy with his current relationship. He reads a personal ad in the paper and responds to it hoping to meet the woman of his dreams. When they finally meet, after three days of poetry in the newspaper classifieds, he discovers that his current girl (wife or girlfriend, it doesn't say) was the one in the paper.

Don't you think there's a problem with that? I'd be just a little bothered if my significant other was putting out personal ads in the paper. Regardless of how much she likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. Sure, maybe neither of us like yoga or health food, and we both enjoy champagne, but who doesn't like making love at midnight on the dunes of a cape?

One thing that always bugged me about this song is that its so upbeat for something so ..not upbeat. I don't know, maybe it's me, but why would he be so psyched about cheating on his "lady"? And what does he expect, a phenomenally attractive woman? Dude she took out a personal ad in the paper. She's gonna look less than a 717, a guarantee you.

Rupert Holmes wasn't a looker himself..

And I think the best part about this song, and don't get me wrong, I enjoy it, is that people always refer to it as The Pina Colada Song. I mean, who doesn't think of this song when they have a pina colada, or vice versa?

--

Well I'm back, and may I say mea culpa for ever leaving.

tumblr

2010-02-03T17:57:00.003-05:00

if you haven't taken a look at my tumblr page yet, i've made the official transition.

The link is here.

I tried RSS feeding everything to here from there but blogger won't let me. bastards.

i liked it here mostly because the customization of the site is WAYY better than over there, but I like the dashboard and content mechanisms better over there than here.

sorry to all my exclusive blogger users, but if you still want to follow my blogging, you can do so at my twitter @bigtinypig.

You've been good to me blogger!

Kidz Bop

2010-01-27T10:46:00.001-05:00

Oh where to begin..

Well let's start with the beginning of the story, as most stories normally start that way.

Kidz Bop is this pretentious little album that comes out every so often. It includes many "Top 20" hits of the year and is sung by kids. The target market here is mostly teenage girls and probably some younger boys. They have songs like Miley Cyrus and in the past they had Sugar Ray and N*Sync. I'm sure you've seen the commercials, but if you'd really love to refresh your memory, click here for the youtube link. But I will not be held responsible for your bleeding ears.

They have to know they're a joke... right?

My first complaint, as I'm sure you've realized I have a few, is that they spell it "Kidz Bop". No, not "Kids Bop" but "Kidz Bop". Now the "Z" was hip in the 90's but come on. They've released like 20 albums at this point and they've carried that stupid trend with them the whole time. Why? I'm serious, why? Stop it. It's enough.

Then I heard this little beauty on one of the commercials. That's right, "Party Like A Rock Star" by Shop Boyz (Another z on the end... god damnit). You'd imagine that they would have to change the lyrics to these songs to make them slightly less inappropriate for people who can't even buy the cd's without parental consent. But this is where my creative juices started flowing.. What if Kidz Bop intentionally released songs that were way too inappropriate for an 11 year old.

Imagine: Kidz Bop Dirrrty
With such hits as Ludacris - What's Your Fantasy?

I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from yo' head to yo' toes
And I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'
Then I wanna, ahh ahh - you make it so good I don't wanna leave
But I gotta, kn-kn-kn-know what-what's your fan-ta-ta-sy

Don't forget Snoop and Dre's sensual duo, The Next Episode

Hold up, hey
for my ni**as who be actin' too bold
Take a, seat
Hope you ready for the next episode
HeyyyeyyyeEYEYyyyEYYYY....
.... smoke weed everyday!

Then there's the timeless classic, Limp Bizkit - Rollin'

One two three time zoom to the 6
Jonesin for you picks of the Limp Bizkit mix
So where the f*ck you at punk?
Shut the f*ck up
And back the f*ck up
Before we f*ck this track up

And last but not least, my personal favorite, F*ck the Police, by N.W.A.

I don't know if they fa*s or what
Search a ni**a down and grabbin his nuts
And on the other hand, without a gun they can't get none
But don't let it be a black and a white one
Cuz they slam ya down to the street top
Black police showin out for the white cop

All for the Low Low Price of $19.95!

Then I got to thinking, "which would be funnier, an attempt at censoring these lyrics, or the actual profane lyrics with no cesor?"

...yea the dirty lyrics are better.

Frequent Stops

2010-01-22T18:33:00.000-05:00

Ok so driving around the other day and the car in front of me has a big sign on the back reading "Frequent Stops".

And that's it.

Now normally, I'd have no problem with it. But then I got to thinking, as I always do, and I wondered what his definition of "frequent" was. I mean for me to get to work from school, I make approximately 15 stops at intersections and for stray ducks. Is that "frequent"?

I followed this guy for about 10 miles, not in a creepy way, he just happened to be in front of me for 10 miles, and he stopped zero times. So why the sign? I feel like having a sign on your car saying "Frequent Stops" means you must stop frequently.

And here's another problem, why doesn't the car have a sign saying why it stops frequently? I've seen other cars that say "Frequent Stops - Mail Delivery" and "Frequent Stops - Construction", so why did this car not have an explanation? What was he hiding?

Sketchy son of a gun.

Tv guide channel

2010-01-15T22:47:00.001-05:00

Speaking of the on screen guide that pretty much everyone has used..

I was flipping around literally the other minute (and I say literally because I don't mean to exaggerate, this event actually took place between 60 and 120 seconds ago), and I see that there's a tv guide channel.

Now I haven't actively used the tv guide channel since I was 12 and I wanted to see what was on the spice network. So I was a little interested to see that this guide channel still existed. And as you know, I have the on screen guide, and the screen had the little tv guide logo. But, the title said, "punk'd".

I hit info.

Now my mind was a blowin when I flip to the channel, but first I hit the "I'm curious" button.

I hit info, and I see: punk'd - julia stiles, the rock, kaley cuoco. Comedy.

I'm thinking, "ok, they made a typo or something." People are trying to find what's on the spice network, and some jokester down at comcast is messing with my head.

Curiosity gets the best of me, and I switch over to tv guide channel. Now as you all know, the screen is split in half on this channel. The top half shows some c-listers talking about their latest film while the boxes scroll up on the lower half of the screen.

They were playing punk'd on the top half.

Now remember how my mind was blown? Yea well seeing the rock being yelled at by a fireman while a building is burning down and the other half of the screen is slowly scrolling up and telling me shit that I already f**king know blew my god damn mind.

But then as I sat there watching this screen, I began to think. Why would the tv guide channel exist on my tv when I have the on screen guide? The house that i live in subscribes to digital cable, nothing fancy just the single step above the regular cable. We don't pay for extras or anything.

We have all this, and the cable company knows this. So why did they throw punk'd and tv guide at me? I have the tv guide by hitting up down left and right. I don't need a designated channel.

I hope your mind was at least partially blown by all of this.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

You Don't Mess with the Titles

2010-01-15T16:48:00.001-05:00

As most people in today's day and age have experienced, Cable television has on-screen guides to tell you what is playing. I, as i'm sure you have, spent blocks of time just scrolling up and seeing what's on Food Network and Skinamax while never having to change away from Law & Order or Judging Amy!

But as I was scrolling this past week, I stumbled upon this on the display screen:

STARZ - 10:00 - "You"

...What the f**k is that? You? So I clicked "info" to see what was actually playing and you'll never guess what it was.

"You" Don't Mess with the Zohan.

First off, I understand they can't fit the whole title in there. These cable companies probably charge by letter or something. You make adjustments to fit the budget, and that's respectable.

But "you"? Come on. Zohan could have easily done the trick, and you'd know exactly what they're talking about.

In which you read something about me reading stuff.

2010-01-15T12:00:00.000-05:00

I've never considered myself a busy reader, but I tend to go through a pile of books in a few months. It's the case of I don't read often, but when I do, it's a pretty good chunk of the book. My problem is that I read and say to myself, "ok just a few more pages then I'm done." Then, "the chapter ends in only 10 pages? I can knock that out." So it keeps going.

Today, I'm filling you in on the six books I bought while in Seattle.

Damn.

Well let's do this chronologically. The top left one was bought in a little shop on the 2nd basement level of Pike Place Market. I walked in the store and was greeted politely by the shop owner, a 30 something metro sexual. I then asked him to pick one book out of the entire store for me to read on my flight home. He excitedly asked me questions about who and what I liked to read, and found In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson. I'll let you know how all of these go of course, but for now I'll admit I have not opened it.

The very next day, I took a tour of Pioneer Square. There, the tour guides were hocking this title at us. Sons of the Profits It was written by a man named Bill Speidel. He started the underground tours of Pioneer Square back in the 60's, and he wrote this book as a History book for Seattle Schools. Given that the subject matter for the book is the sketchy business leaders that started the dirtiest city in the Northwest, the Schools banned it within three years. It then became a best seller.

Next, on the way back from Pioneer Square, I stopped in a shop in Downtown and picked up their only remaining Chuck Palahniuk book, Invisible Monsters. I got this strictly because it's Palahniuk. I've read a few of his books, and the others I've heard are all really good. I'm only a few chapters into this one, so we'll see. So far it's great.

The next two, Fight Club and High Fidelity (by Chuck Palahniuk and Nick Hornsby respectively) I have already read, but they deserved a purchase. You see I borrowed the books when I read them the first time, but I never got around to picking up my own copy. I picked these up after eating Pad Thai in Fremont on Sunday. While looking for my final book...

...this little number. Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass. I gotta say, I've never read these. I had always heard great things, I even used Lewis Carroll's poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter" in a paper I wrote 2 years ago. To finally read this is pretty exciting. I put a hurting on it during my flight back and the wait in the airport before take off. I tried explaining it and I really couldn't. But I'll try. The book is good because it's like finally getting to eat dessert. You've heard about it, you've waited for it, and when it finally comes, and you sink your teeth into it, it's as good as they told you. Also, the style of the writing is great because it's almost childlike in it's straightforwardness. Yet at the same time, it's very metaphorical. Alice is interesting character that I never really gave any thought about before actually reading the stories. I'd check this one out if I were you.

Well that about covers it. I hope you've enjoyed reading about me reading.

A bunch of pictures -- might be tough to view on a slow computer.

2010-01-14T23:27:00.000-05:00

And I will be taking these pictures down by the end of the day (1/15) because I need to free up some space. I don't want to have all these pictures uploaded and then just have them chilling in the archives. Get your fill now before it's too late!

Emerald City Tour 2010 - Day 4 Recap

2010-01-11T00:53:00.000-05:00

It's been an awesome 4 days. Tomorrow I leave, but not until 10 pm.

One more left.

Today, I went to Lake Union for a tour of Lake Union and Lake Washington. Then, I headed over to Fremont for some last minute shopping (I have bought six books since I got here!) and some Pad Thai. Finally, I swung by Kerry Park for a view of the city.

Emerald City Tour 2010 - "You Don't Know Me" Sunrise

2010-01-11T00:14:00.000-05:00

Emerald City Tour 2010 - Beginning Day 4

2010-01-10T21:06:00.000-05:00

Check back for at least one more video and another slideshow tonight.

Emerald City Tour 2010 - Day 3 Recap

2010-01-10T14:55:00.000-05:00

Headed to Pioneer Sq for the Underground and some good shopping / view of the city. Ate some delicious food and watched the Worlds Strongest Man at the bar.

Today I'm taking a cruise of the lakes and I'm headed to Kerry park for some breathtaking views of the city.

Just one

2010-01-10T14:33:00.000-05:00

If I had to choose one picture of this trip so far, it'd be this one.

-Click to Enlarge-

slideshow coming soon of Day 3.

Bigtinypig's Blog - Day 2

2010-01-09T01:30:00.001-05:00

Emerald City Tour 2010 - Day 2 Recap

2010-01-09T00:30:00.001-05:00

January 8, 2010

Emerald City Tour 2010 - Day 1 Recap

2010-01-08T11:15:00.000-05:00

There'll be one of these everyday. And these are BY NO MEANS all of the pictures, just a quick collection of a few.
Here's a show of what I did on January 7th 2010.

Here's the scoop:

Flew from BWI to Chicago OHare to Seattle/Tacoma from 4:00 am check in (Eastern Time) to 10:20 am arrival (Pacific Time, 1:20 pm ET). Rented a practically new car for a 21 year old arm and leg. Checked into the hotel before 11:30 and headed down to Pike Place Market by 1:00. There, I saw hundreds of shops and I know I missed some. I'll go back soon. I got a tip from a merchant in a book store that the Art Museum on Union and 1st was open for free on the first Thursday of every month. Bingo. Got to see originals by Michelangelo and Calder, some American guy with a unique medium. Went back to the hotel to shower and change to get ready for dinner atop the Space Needle. Came back here and realized I had been awake for 23.5 hours straight!

Woke up this morning and I feel refreshed and breakfast is being delivered to me as I type this.

Check back for a recap of today sometime this evening. Today is the Stadium Tours.

Room Service!

2010-01-07T20:47:00.000-05:00

Holy Shit!

2010-01-07T15:30:00.001-05:00

You can see the excitement.

I just started uploading it to Youtube so if it's not ready yet, give it a minute.

[Video taken down to be repaired. Stay tuned]

Ok, I figured it out. The resolution is too high, I fixed on the above video. We should be good from here on out.

"Seattle Diaries" Part I ..

2010-01-07T15:25:00.003-05:00

But I like to call it the Emerald City Tour of 2010.

Waking up after a four-hour nap at 1:00 am this morning and driving to the airport to arrive in Gate D13 at 5:00 am in BWI was the beginning. I find myself typing this post while airborne somewhere between Chicago and Seattle headed west in a United Airlines Boeing 757. I anticipate landing sometime around 10:20 local time, so by the time you are having your lunch, I’ll be starting my day.

My total travel time today will be sometime around 5 hours in the air. By my watch it’s 7:00 am, I already set it back to Seattle time. Hopefully I won’t be experiencing any lag as I’m operating on only a few hours sleep.

Up on the docket for today is trying to check in to my hotel early I’m not optimistic. The only definite plans I have for today is a trip up the Space Needle for dinner at 8:00 tonight. I have planned to going to Pike Place today. This is the famous fish market you always see in movies and television with Seattle.

Here’s my Day 1 in the itinerary I prepared. Keep you’re eyes on the blog for more updates to come.

As an aside, I have “Glow” by Alien Ant Farm stuck in my head. Check it out.

How Movies Should Have Ended

2010-01-06T10:16:00.002-05:00

Came across this video series on youtube the other day. Something to keep you held over before I start posting videos from my trip.

It's called "How Movies Should Have Ended" and it's well worth the 2 minutes or so per episode. If you have the free time, I suggest checking it out. My personal favorite was the Lord of the Rings video.

Tomorrow I fly out of here at 6:00 am. I'll keep my twitter going about where I am and what I'm up to, and keep your eyes peeled for a video or two while I'm gone. It takes me about a day to finish an edited video so at best they'll be two while I'm gone.

Anyway, check out the link above and have a good one.

Donut Expedition

2010-01-03T14:06:00.001-05:00

First video, let me know what you think! Comments can be anonymous if you don't have a google ID.

A new year!

2010-01-01T09:00:00.000-05:00

A few things to kick off the new decade.

I am so glad the oughts are over, because now we can refer to them as the oughts. How cool is that? What about the current decade, the teens? The Tens? I don't know man...

My resolution; pass all my classes the next two semesters. And since we know no one ever follows their resolutions, I also resolve to fail one class in the next two semesters. Somethings gotta give! But just for fun; I resolve to have a beer in three different time zones this year. That includes the East Coast, and I'll knock out the Pacific TZ when I head over there in a week. Just one more..

Is it just me or are you excited to see 2010 written down? Or even 1/1/10? That's exciting. It's been so long since there wasn't a zero as the second to last number in the year. That, and I'm excited to see the blog archives become a whole lot shorter because 2009 will collapse! How weird?

A year ago today I wrote about charades in this post. I think it's funny how similar my tone is from that original post, and yet I feel like a different person. That's what a year can do to someone I guess.

Quick note: I think I'm deffinitely (or is it definitely?) done following Gilbert Arenas on twitter. Here's his first string of posts.

Lovely.

Well that was fun while it lasted. Speaking of twitter, you can always follow me over there. My blog automatically updates on twitter when I write something here. That and I try to keep it interesting, like informing you when I hear a Janice Joplin song! If you do a search on my previous twitter updates, you'll find 6 posts with "bobby" and two with "Janice" in it. hilarious.

Final note for today: the post a day rule no longer applies.

...I know you're all so sad. Trust me, I am too. But I think I'm going to take away the rule and see how well I can handle it for a month. If I stay here and keep posting, it means this blog really grew on me and ~~I like talking to you myself.~~ I like letting you all listen to me talk to myself.

Have a safe drive home from wherever you are, and I'll see you all real soon.

Help! I've been trapped inside this laptop for 365 days!

2009-12-31T11:32:00.002-05:00

I've been writing blog posts for a year now, Paul kidnapped me. I don't know how he did it, but somehow I was abducted and forced inside his computer. He's been forcing me to write for him all year, I can't take it anymore! He's not even that funny. I mean I like some of his stuff, but.. Oh shit. He's coming over. Pretend I wasn't just talking to you.

...So anyway that's what really bugs the shit out of me. And stuff... Ok he's gone.

You gotta help me. There has to be a way out of this thing. Here's the plan. Tonight he'll probably fall asleep before 1 am. That's when I need you, the reader, to come and steal his laptop. That way-

Hey, what's going on here?

Uh nothing?

No there's something going on.. Are you trying to escape?

...No, I- I was just kidding. Honest.

OK that's enough of that. You're getting turned off.

NooooOoooooooOooOooOOOO!

Sorry about that everyone. Pretend you didn't see that.

Well, it's been a good year; new friends met, a lot of the same places and some good times all around. Sure it was hard at times but everybody has problems. Thankfully I was lucky enough to have way more good than bad this year. It was fun sharing it with you all, and I look forward for more to come in the future.

I've been practicing making videos for the Seattle trip. It's kinda tough to be able to talk in front of a camera, especially unscripted. I'm working on it though, I want to be able to capture my trip for everyone back home to see. Who knows, I could be the next internet celebrity! ..yea i don't think so. Not my thing.

Anyway, it's been great and I'll see you all in 2010. Be safe and have fun.

Candy Corn and Bar Nuts

2009-12-30T11:04:00.002-05:00

I haven't talked about food in quite some time. So when I came across this redneck trail mix at a bar on Sunday, I thought it the perfect opportunity to share.

So there I was, minding my own business and watching the Redskins blow hard, when I see this dispenser in the corner. It was one of those dispensers that you'd normally see in a cafeteria that holds cereal. I was a few deep and hungry at this point, so I made my way over to the dispenser. What do I see? Candy corn and beer nuts. Straight up salted peanuts and candy corn that was probably purchased before Halloween of 2006.

Now I wondered, shall I go hungry or shall I destroy my taste buds with this surely disgusting treat in an untrustworthy bar? I voted the latter.

So as I'm reaching into the now full paper tray provided by the barkeep, I deeply inhale the putrid smoke filled air and hope that it's not the last thing I taste on this earth. I take a bite. The salty peanut hits me like any salty peanut would. Not in the way you fall asleep on the couch and your friends through peanuts at you from across the room to try and make it in your mouth. No, they hit me with the saltiness only a peanut could. Then, oh so subtly, the candy corn crept under my teeth and onto my tongue. The combination was magnificent.

As a moral to this taste explosion, I advise all to not judge one bar snack by it's eerie cover. Enjoy said bar snacks with an open mind, as I should have, and you will be rewarded.

Well, not every time. Sometimes you'll eat some shitty food.

What to do while listening to a live band you're not familiar with and you don't really like:

2009-12-29T21:11:00.001-05:00

1) Tap your feet to the music and applaud when others applaud. Just because you don't know the music doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. Try and nod you're head too, that really sells that you're not completely lost by the experience. You can always hope the next song is better.

2) Hit on the waiter/waitress. Ok I know you don't have a chance, I mean she's probably way out of your league or not worth it. Mine was out of my league, but what's the fun in not trying? What's the worst that can happen, you get rejected? Please. The people get hit on everyday. If it were me, I'd consider it a compliment.

3) Have a drink. What better way to calm the nerves? It could be the worst band ever and you can rock out if you're a few appletinis deep. Hell, the night might even be perfect if you forget what songs the bland played after a few rounds.

4) Find somewhere to go afterwards. For me, it's at home playing video games and wearing a snuggie (not really, at least the snuggie part anyway). Maybe you like to go out afterward! Text your buddies, get a party goin! This bad band could be a pregame for something great!

5) Mock the band. This one is easy AND fun! Who doesn't like to be critical of others. Does the opening act sound like a dying cat? Yell free bird! Have fun with it!

6) Write this blog post from your phone!

that last one actually happened.
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Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Post Holiday Boredom

2009-12-28T19:38:00.002-05:00

Well it's that time of year again. The holiday season is over, the family has gone back to their respective homes, the christmas decorations are coming down and the torn wrapping paper has been disposed of and taken away by the mafia. It's the time of year that many of us become bored out of our skulls.

There are cures. Some make plans for new years, some read and some go shopping for "after christmas" sales. Me? I clean and reorganize my room while watching South Park or any new DVD's that made their way under our christmas tree a week ago. In cleaning, I discovered a box of school work from my freshman year of college (only two years worth of dust on this particular box). In it were quite a few writing samples and a bunch of class notes and quiz grades. Some not so great of course. I liked reading these assignments. They give me hope that I can always do some writing if it came to it.

What I really enjoyed doing during this process is taking a look at all the sports Jerseys I have. I'll have to make a photo slideshow out of all of them one day, but I know I'm at about 30 to 40 articles in the collection. If I were to include all of my Lacrosse pennies, It'd come to well over 50.

Hopefully you're post holiday boredom isn't as severe as mine (it isn't too bad). Good luck coping!

Headline: Mother Kills Children, Father Laughs

2009-12-28T01:24:00.002-05:00

Here's a story my mom told my brother and I a few years back.

Growing up, JD and I shared a room in our four bedroom house. For some reason we had two guest bedrooms and no guests. So one night, while our parents were sleeping, we decided it was a great idea to empty out everything in our room and throw it over the staircase railing to the foyer below.

Everything.

At the time we had a lot of toys. We're talking toy trains on those little wooden tracks, Power Ranger action figures, Hotwheels, and when we ran out of toys, we started throwing furniture over. All of the bed sheets, the blankets and pillows, and bean bag chairs (little small ones because we were little) were thrown over.

Needless to say, we were making a bit of noise while doing this. Our parents came out to the hallway to see what was going on. My mom remembers seeing a headline flash across her eyes. And my dad remembers laughing his ass off.

JD and I will remember this story for the rest of our lives. And it'll always make us laugh.

Camouflage

2009-12-27T13:03:00.002-05:00

Now I know i'm not the only one who hates it when people wear camouflage.

First, I'd like to say that my cousin Kenny Holliday is currently stationed in the Middle East (Iraq) and is the baddest ass I know. That being said, I wholeheartedly agree with his camo-wearing. He's living in a god damned sandbox.

Also, I've hunted before (once, when I was a wee lad) and it's crucial to wear fatigues to hide from unsuspecting prey. A man's got to eat venison once in his life don't you know.

And finally, I grew up in a family that consisted of a grandfather who preferred teaching his grandsons (my cousins Derek, Travis, my brother JD, and myself) how to dress and act like a marine before we even reached the 3rd grade. I knew how to sing the Marine Corps Hymn and how to properly stand at attention before I could do simple math.

Taking all of this into consideration, I think it's safe to say that there is a time and a place for everything. In this case, there is a time to wear camouflage, and there are MANY times in which it is stupid looking. Take last night for instance.

My Father, his wife Jess, my brother, and myself were all sitting at the Steakhouse in Woodbridge putting a few away and talking and laughing. In walks some white dude that mixed the "wigger" look with the "camo-douche" look for a grand combination that I like to call Camo-Fage. It's just not the right venue. Now, If we had been hiking? Fine. If we were all running out to shoot a buck? Ok. But we're in a good damn bar on a Saturday Night!

Retard.

Feety Pajamas

2009-12-26T14:38:00.002-05:00

Here's a quick recap of what everyone got at the Barrett Household.

DVDs

Video Games

A digital Camera and Camcorder

New TV for the Family Room

Awesome clothes

and exclusively for me, a set of Feety Pajamas.

That's right. Feety Pajamas.

I don't know who's idea it was, although I suspect my brother, but it is probably the funniest thing I've gotten in a few years. Now I have an excuse to stay in pajamas all day!

That being said, my dad knows how much I hate snuggies. He got me a Redskins patterned snuggie. And he laughed at me when I opened it. What a prick! I'll only wear it during Redskins games, that's for sure.

In which the masses continually misuse the phrase "i'm a fan of..."

2009-12-26T13:42:00.008-05:00

I can't go a day with out hearing one of my friends claim, "yea I'm not a huge fan of How I Met your Mother" or "you know, I've really become a big fan of waxing my chest" which is fine, I mean I dont judge. But why on earth would someone claim to be a fan of stupid ass shit on facebook.

Here's a little collage I put together.

Why Facebook? Why did you start this?

I generally complain about a lot of things on this blog. I won't deny it. But really? Ok first, in real life, claiming to be a fan of something has spread beyond sports teams and entertainers. People started to include foods and unimportant daily routines like waxing their chest or driving somewhere. Already, the "fan" line had been crossed, but then the ongoing death of personal communication (facebook) decided to add this fan tool.

At first, the facebook fan tool wasn't too bad. Simple things like a band or a sports team here and there. Then naps. Then driving on the right side of the road. Then flipping over the pillow. The list goes on. Just look at the picture above; A spider? An extremely time sensitive fan page? A quote from a television show from about three years ago? The word Wednesday? How many people can sell their soul for a fan page? A fan page for FAN PAGES??!!

This is enough. My plea is for all of you to consider the options when seeing a fan page.

A) Join the page, and further fall into the obsession of Facebook by spelling out every single detail of your life that 99.9% of the people in your life don't care about.

B) Laugh at the title of the page and maybe add that activity to your "info" section or make it your status, and continue to add every single detail of your life...

C) Think the page is funny, then get on with your life.

I implore you to go with option C on this one people. But, don't do what I say because you think I'm right or you agree with me, do whatever the hell you want because YOU think it's right.

...

This one showed up SECONDS after I posted this on my blog. God Damnit.

What the hell!

The lost glasses

2009-12-23T22:21:00.000-05:00

I wear glasses. Not many of you know that because I also wear contact lenses. I only have the glasses as a back up to when I don't have contacts or if it's been a while and I'm just in the mood to wear them.

But then I lost my glasses.

I have two pairs. One is a wire frame, nothing fancy. The other are these black ones that are a little thicker and more noticeable. The black pair broke about 16 months ago and I neglected to fix them, so I just had the one pair. Then they disappeared and I was without vision.

I wondered for months where they had gone. Did somebody find them and adopt them as their own? I'm sure they named them. If I found something and kept it on my own I would name it. The weird thing about naming it is that you know it's not the same name that it already has. I mean when we got our dog Duke, we found out his name was Pal. That sucks. So if someone found my glasses and then went ahead and named them Bartholomew when everyone knows his name is Patrick... would anyone know the difference?

Ok but really the glasses probably just fell into an alternate dimension. Kind of like the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, but more like Lost in Space with a Looney Tunes twist. Some dude (or alien cartoon creature) found Patrick and renamed him and then showed his friends. Quickly thereafter a friend kidnapped Patrick and ran off to Vegas. So it would seem, but they were in love and wanted to elope.
Later, after 8 months (our time), 12 years (alternate universe time) the glasses and the friend of the alien cartoon creature dude have a falling out. It was over some argument over chili and whether or not it has one or two "L"s in it. Patrick was right, but we won't get into that here. Through the space time dimension travel device, Patrick managed to find himself in the glove box of my mom's Mustang. He was found this December as I was looking for a spare key.

The outcome of the story: I haven't worn contacts in two days because it's so nice to be able to wear glasses again.

The moral of the story: When faced with the decision to rename something from a different dimension than your own, consider the mental distress you are placing on said inanimate object from a different dimension. How would you liked to be named Bartholomew?

A Bigtinypig Blog Post: Part III

2009-12-22T03:27:00.002-05:00

In case you missed it, here's Part I and Part II of this series.

So after the post, what can there possibly be? Well, to be honest. There's nothing left. I publish the post and the next day I start it all over again. Of course I think about how the post came out and whether or not it could have been better. I do like getting the comments here and there.

Mainly the next thing to think about is what am I going to write the next morning?

I'd like to say thanks again to everyone who checks out this blog on a semi regular basis. I really enjoy writing my weird and not so weird thoughts here and I plan on keeping it going into the new year. To be honest with you, my original plan was to stop at 2010. But with the trip coming up and the potential for video posts in the (very near) future, I have no choice but to keep the ball rolling.

Thanks again guys, and I'll see you tomorrow.

A Bigtinypig Blog Post: Part II SLASH How to feel up a Christmas Present

2009-12-22T03:24:00.001-05:00

Last we spoke...

or rather; if you haven't read it yet, I wrote a post before this and you either A) read it and are continuing here. good for you, skip down to the bold and underlined portion below. or B) you haven't read it and you've missed out. You can find part I here and the next part (part III) here.

...we were talking about how I write a blog post.

How I Write a Blog Post
What I do for this stage is just write about the topic. I already know the subject, I just need to go to town and write it down. As I said, there isn't a whole lot of planning. There will be more planning for the videos I plan on putting up, but until then it's all freestyle just writing what I think.

Here's today's post:

How to feel up a Christmas Present

Ok it's that time of year. There are presents under the tree and I'm tempted to walk in there and feel up the presents to see what we're looking at.

Now, everyone has seen the tv shows and movies where somebody shakes the box. What's that about? I never learn anything from a shake. It's all about the texture for me. Feel the package and analyze what you feel. For example: A dvd shaped box. Ok is it a video game or a dvd? You can eliminate video game here if there if you don't feel the indentation to open the box. If that's missing, or the gap is too wide, it's a dvd. Then, flip it over to either side. Feel the front and back. Do you feel grooves? Is there writing? It's probably a DVD with extra packaging, that means it's probably new and definitely some kind of "special edition" box.

::Related post from a trusted filmmaker James Rolfe (of AVGN fame) here regarding extra packaging on DVD's. I agree with him 100%::

Another example would be an average rectangular box. Not a clothes box, that one's easy. It's clothes. If it's a rectangular box there are a few things you want to look for. Check for a side that's "different" from all the other sides. Is there one? If can be different things but it it's an X pattern, we're looking at electronics. Especially if the box is heavy. If you can feel that it is a lighter box and all sides are flat, you have a different situation. Could be shoes. Check the top to see if there is a lip around the entire edge of the box, that's the lid.

You can get alot from sound too. I'm serious, flick the package. What do you hear? A rattle, a thud, a plastic sound? This can really help you figure out what's going on in the box.

So go to your tree. Pick up that box that has your name on it. Feel it up, what do you find? And remember, it's fun to snoop but you never want to guess. Because if you're right, the giver gets upset and you don't get a surprise come Friday morning.

With this post, I just wrote. I paused a few times to watch TV and I enjoyed a Pepsi while I wrote. Then, I scroll down to "Post Options" and edit. I change the post time to the next day up in my posting schedule. For example if I'm writing three or four posts because I'll be out of town, I change the date to say the next coming Saturday and the time to that morning. Usually sometime around 9:00 am. From there, I hit "publish post" and the deed is done.

Now, on to our final chapter A Bigtinypig Blog Post: Part III and if you missed it, here's the first part to the story.

A Bigtinypig Blog Post: Part I

2009-12-22T02:45:00.001-05:00

Today, I'll be narrating what I go through when I write a post everyday. It's always a process, and it's never the same way twice. Yes, I know I'm behind by three days in my posting and yes I know this post is 'conveniently' a three parter, but hey, it's my damn blog, I make the rules!

So for today; let me tell you how the thinking process works.

How the Thinking Process Works
The day starts with whatever I happen to be doing that day. This could be anything. I could be out of town, at school, starting off at work, waking up at home, or even not waking up until after sunset. Normally, I don't think about the post at all until that evening. If this is the case, I consult my phone for any previous ideas I've come up with. I keep a list in my phone for ideas, generally this list is empty. It has been useful though as this post, this post, and this post were all "ideas" I sat on for a while before writing them out.

Sometimes I get lucky and have something to write about, like a trip. But other days I sit and think about it for quite a while. To get over this bump, I'll do something like read or socialize. Generally, socializing helps me out with posts. I take the weird shit we talk about, like "Why is there rice in the salt shaker?" and make it into a longer post. A lot of times, this is how I come up with my "Bug's the Shit our of Me" posts.

For today's post (or part two of this entry) I came up with the idea about an hour and a half ago. I was in the living room with my brother and we were admiring christmas presents under the tree. That is also the moment that I came up with the idea for the three parter.

That's about it.

I don't do any drafting or anything like that. Sometimes I take the post a little more seriously and actually think about the formatting, but I think that's been maybe 6 times out of the 340 or so we've had this year.

Next up is the writing process, or A Bigtinypig Blog Post: Part II. Then, the 'grand finale', A Bigtinypig Blog Post: Part III

Freaking the eff out over snow.

2009-12-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

Overnight, the east coast was blanketed in about 8 inches of snow, with as many as 10 more to come. The funny thing about northern virginia is that people go bat shit crazy anytime the weather man calls for a dusting of snow or more. Now that they're saying this will be one of the biggest DC storms in history, the people in this area went nuts. Grocery stores and gas stations had lines that I haven't seen in years.

This is fine, but for non panicking people like me who need to get gas because i'm running on E, not because the apocalypse is coming. Idiots.

So, grab some home made popcorn, a book or a movie, a warm blanket, and a tall beverage and enjoy the snow like you're 8 years old. I'll be putting on my slicks and running face first down the hill in my back yard. And I now have the resources to make a snowmen like these.

-It's not art unless someone is brutally killed right?-

Keep warm people, and have fun.

Sleep All Day and the Redskins

2009-12-17T18:31:00.003-05:00

So I fell asleep sometime around sunrise, and I woke up sometime around sunset. I would say that my sleep pattern has officially been completely messed up due to finals.

Luckily, I don't have another test until Saturday, and if the impending blizzard comes, that test will be moved to Monday.

The song linked in this title is called "Sleep All Day" and, funnily enough, I heard it on shuffle yesterday for the first time in roughly two years. It's kind of weird to be able to say that I literally slept all day. There was not but a few moments of sun while I was awake today.

---

Unrelated news item for today:

The Redskins Executive Vice President of Football Operations Vinny Cerrato resigned this morning after working with the organization and owner Daniel Snyder for approximately 10 years (there was a quick stretch in which he was fired by Schottenheimer). The job was quickly turned over to Bruce Allen, son of long time admired George Allen, coach of the 'Skins in the 70's and former VA governor.

Vinny was one of the main thorns in the fans and local media's side throughout his tenure with more "fails" then "wins" in draft and free agency picks. Need I mention Adam Archuleta, Jason Taylor, Brandon Lloyd, Deion Sanders, Jeff George and draft busts like Durant Brooks, Rod Gardner, and Taylor Jacobs?

This news is a bright spot for the organization and I'll tell you why: In the past, I have said the problem with the team stems from two main areas, the Management of the organization, and the Leadership on the field.

First, the organization of team was Owner -> Vinny -> Coach. Now, Vinny was too much of a front man to Snyder to actually make decisions. He was never really a Management kind of guy and, consequently, the decisions made by him were more about the money to be gained (i don't know how, considering we spent it all on players) in publicity rather than the product on the field.

Second, the players on the field knows the coach has no power, but it's Dan's team. So why do what the coach says? There's no incentive. It's a Principal Agent problem. They can slack off because they know that it's possible. Clinton Portis started training in February in '08 and practiced everyday. Result: Pro bowl. In '09, he started training in April, and hasn't practiced at all. Result: IR list in November and worst, and possibly the last, season of his career.

Now that Bruce Allen (Did I mention George was his dad?) is BACK in town, this team has made a step towards success. I'm not saying we're going to start performing better on the field, but I'm certainly glad that it will eventually. A note to mention here is that Mike Shanahan was GM in Denver, he likes to manage his own team. I think, by getting rid of the puppet (Cerrato) and eventually getting rid of Zorn (not his fault) and cleaning house with dead weight player contracts (Samuels, R. Thomas, Randel El, and Portis), Shanahan and Allen will be able to build a team worth being proud of.

I'll say it here; I'm always going to be a Redskins fan, and seeing someone from our historic legacy come back to town really makes me HAPPY to be a skins fan. First time i've been happy about it this year in fact.

Assassins Creed II and why I haven't plugged in my xbox in three weeks.

2009-12-17T02:04:00.002-05:00

Ok so you know it's finals week for me, I've told you; but because of this dastardly week, I can't play video games. I haven't plugged in my xbox 360 since Thanksgiving weekend, and It must stay that way if I plan on passing Managerial Accounting. To make matters worse, my roommate Rob doesn't have to study for his finals. He just bought Assassins Creed II. It's an awesome game. I have to bar myself from the living room to not play it because I'm extremely jealous.

So I've made a rule; I will NOT play video games until Saturday. On Saturday, I have my Accounting final at 1030 am. When I finish, I'm driving to the store and buying a copy of this game.

God damnit.

I need to distract myself.

Jazzman's has frequented my blog recently so I'll talk about that place. I was there for about 4 hours today studying marketing. It was pretty cool. Ana, one of the coffee wenches, advised me on which muffins were good, so I got a blueberry. Washed it down with a Large White Mocha (because Grande sounds gay, and Vente is worse. If I wanted to say "Big as fuck" in Italian, I'd say "Super-size it") with no whipped cream. Since I stayed for so long, and because they love me, I got a free coffee again before I left. Decaf, I need to cut back on my Caffeine intake.

While getting the decaf I was hit on by a few llllllladies getting cherry turnovers. Felt pretty awesome. Kinda like when I got this note here. Remember that? yea I know how weird was that shit.

...And yes I know vente is "20" and yes I know that's 20 oz. in that cup. Imagine that.

Christmas Tree for the Toilet

2009-12-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

Ok, this needs explaining.

Monday night, August and I decided that it was the perfect night to go buy a full sized christmas tree for our apartment. I say this hoping the reading audience understands that it is HIGHLY against the apartment rules to have a christmas tree, real or fake.

After our exams for the day, the two of us hop in my tiny ass VW golf and drive to my Mom's house. There, we clean out my car and grab a tree stand and some lights. We high tail it to Home Depot (realizing halfway that we forgot gloves, sappy fingers ensued) to buy our $31.46 tree. We get back to our complex at around 8. It's still a little too early to bring it to our place because we know if we're seen, we'll be reported.

1:30 am rolls around, and we know that the time is now. Grabbing my comforter from the bed on the way, we head down to my car in the parking lot. The car interior is COVERED in needles, and it smells fantastic. I'll take that sacrifice any day. Throwing the blanket on to the tree, we carry this thing like secret agents to the edge of the lot using the cover of an SUV from oncoming traffic. And, as there appears to be no one in sight, we book it.

"Go, go go go!!"
The sight of the two of us running across a street with (what looks like) a giant red body bag to our apartment, then getting stuck between the 2nd and 3rd floors (both of us out of breath from running) was something we won't soon forget.

-I think the lights make it work-

So you may ask, where does the "Toilet" come into the story, as I so referenced in the title of today's post.

Today, our RA came to do a surprise inspection. Damnit. Due to some silly rule about "fire hazards" (whatever that is), we now have to get rid of the tree. August and I took a vote, and we decided the best course of action is to sneak the tree into the neighboring academic building, and put in the women's room stall.

-Vandals unite!-

Unfortunately, this didn't happen. It was a plan, and I wrote this post in the morning when we formulated the plan, but after taking two exams and playing video games, we didn't much feel like doing anything. So, our grand solution, was to throw the tree off of our third story balcony and affix a polite reminder of the christmas tree policy for all to see.

-...and that's how the RA ruined Christmas boys and girls-

I know it's her job but if were an RA, I would take a bribe. Maybe that's why I'm not an RA.

Things you can say about an exam:

2009-12-15T06:12:00.000-05:00

After taking my Econ Final today, I started coming up with things you can say about an exam. These things are all personifications, which makes it fun in my opinion. The great thing is that you can apply these to any inanimate object.

I crushed that exam.

I destroyed that exam.

I punished that exam.

I made that exam my bitch.

I got away with abuse on that exam.

I made that exam wish it had never met me.

I bullied that exam throughout middle school, then stole it's lunch money.

I embarrassed that exam and made it cry in front of it's exam friends.

I called that exam's mother a fat whore, and made it cry. Like a bitch.

I kidnapped the exam, took it to Russia, and whored it out for $15 a night.

I was friends with that exam, but then it was a douche, so I took it's sister to dinner and never called her again.

What, too far? Obviously I feel I did well on the exam.

Receipts

2009-12-14T12:11:00.002-05:00

At School, when you buy food at the diner on campus, they give you a receipt of your transaction. Ok, fine. That's normal. But what's unique about this situation is that you can't pick up your food from the other side of the counter without your receipt. Just like getting a dessert at Fudruckers or something.

So I wondered, as I often do, what would it be like if receipts were used as currency elsewhere? In situations for services as well?

Your divorce attorney calls and reminds you that there is a meeting with your wife and her lawyer this Wednesday. The only problem is he hasn't received his receipt yet and if it doesn't arrive in his office by Tuesday afternoon, his services will not be present at the hearing.

You go to the grocery store and pay for items at the counter, then with the receipt you can go pick them up in the aisles.

How bout when you drive through a toll, at the entrance of the highway you pay $5 and they give you a receipt. You now CANNOT leave the highway unless you present the exit booth with your receipt.

These are the things I think about while eating above par (crappy, I'm trying to change the phrase) cheese fries in the campus diner at 1 in the morning.

The Santa ClausE

2009-12-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

This film, for me, has a special place. Just like the last three reviews (Wonderful Life, Jingle all the Way, and Christmas Vacation), I hold this one pretty close to my heart this time of year.

Growing up, my parents didn't always get along. It never got to a point where I actually remember them fighting, and it wasn't anything at all "bad", they just didn't get along. So when I watched The Santa ClausE, I saw Tim Allen as my dad. Weird I know, but it's just one of things you don't really talk about.

Getting to the actual movie, has there ever been a more twisted move premise than this? I mean to get the job as Santa Claus, you have to MURDER the current Santa Claus. I mean what the hell is that?!? And the line where Charlie (Tim Allen's son) says he "will be going in to the family business" one day, did he just plot to murder his own father? What the f**k is that supposed to mean?

But, the most bizarre scene is right here.

Is that f**kin John Candy?? I looked it up online, there is NO reference for him ever being in this film, but he was alive during production (Candy died March 1994 while the film was released in theaters November of the same year). So what's the story? Does Tim Allen wearing fat make up really look that much like John Candy? I don't think so. There's some sort of conspiracy going on here.

Well whatever the reasons.. I love this movie. I watch it every year. I've already watched it twice this year, and who knows, that may lead to a third.

I give it 4 Oscar Meyer Weenie whistles out of 5.

So you can trust crazy people on ebay...

2009-12-12T09:00:00.001-05:00

I've had an ebay account for about 5 years now, and I've always been wary of purchasing anything from overseas. You hear horror stories from people that they don't send anything to you and it's just a scam to get your money. Well today I learned that it's all a load.

I recently bid on this item for my dad, as a christmas present. The first thing I notice (apart from the notable accuracy errors on the jersey) is that it only costs around $32 after shipping. This can't be real.. A homemade jersey with stitching and everything roughly $200 under what it costs through legitimate channels? It's being sold out of South Korea... It has to be a scam.

Turns out the sellers rating was pretty high and the transaction went smoothly. So if you, like I, were worried about the legitimacy of these "fake" jerseys, don't be. They will come in the mail (took mine about two weeks to get here) and it won't cost you a whole lot.

Can you keep it down?

2009-12-11T14:59:00.003-05:00

Scene: August and Paul at their respective desks in the apartment bedroom, mid afternoon.

August is watching the Office while studying for a final. Paul is on his laptop typing.

August: Hey can you keep it down?

Paul: Oh uh.. yea sorry. [Paul continues to type, only slower and quieter]

August: Thank you.

15 seconds later

August: Hey seriously I'm trying to study and I would appreciate it if you were just a little quieter.

Paul: There's really nothing I can do to be quieter. I'm just typ-

August: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, JUST KEEP IT THE FUCK DOWN.

Paul: wow. That was inappropr-

August: SHUT UP

Paul: I'm not doing anything wr-

August: SHUT U-

Paul: NO, I'M TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT. YOU STEAL MY QTIPS AND NOW YOU ACCUSE ME OF YELLING

August: YOU FUCKING LIAR! YOU STOLE MY QTIPS AND YOU TYPE ALL THE TIME! GET A FUCKIN MUTED KEYBOARD OR SOM-

Paul: YOU'RE A DICK YOU KNOW THAT! THEY WERE MY GOD DAMN QTIPS AND THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A MUTED KEYBOARD. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

another 15 seconds pass

August: I'm sorry.

Paul: Me too.

August: I love you.

Paul: I love you too.

August: I love you so much, that I have no problem asking you to please keep it down over there.

Paul: you SON OF A BITCH

End Scene

random list of places I've slept

2009-12-10T00:00:00.002-05:00

you ever finished laundry and not feel like folding and putting it away? yea i've slept on it.

i've woken up on a strange apartment floor wrapped in a slip cover of a futon.

my current mattress set up: mattress under a mattress pad (really not padding at all, just a cover) under a fitted ~~shit~~ sheet, under a thin blanket, under a flat sheet that's tucked under the mattress like a fitted sheet, under a big blanket that I normally sleep under.

my office floor at the stadium, done that.

a crib sized mattress in somebody else's basement

too many couches to count

a hallway floor, and this wasn't out of necessity, it was for fun.

three desk chairs lined up in a row

behind the desk in the team store

a dog bed

somebody else's desk

probably four futons at the max. three for sure, but i'm sure there's a fourth in there somewhere.

under a christmas tree

under a normal tree (outside)

in a bath tub

tents, of course

a weird hammock/bed thing

a locker room bench

plane

train

my car. numerous times. (the explorer, the jetta, and the golf)

and of course, plenty of different beds over the years.

Baller Status... ..er I mean, we performed really well.

2009-12-08T17:43:00.001-05:00

Two group presentations today, within three hours. We kicked ass.

First, the SOM presentation. Our group assignment was to invent a product or service and present the business plan (accounting, management, marketing, financing and technology) to potential investors. In this presentation, I had a small role within the body of the project but I was also responsible for the conclusion. It's a little difficult to speak in front of a large group, but when you know the material, it's not too difficult.

About two hours later, I gave my second presentation. Same thing here, a little larger role in the body (this time there was only six members vs ten in the earlier presentation), as well as the conclusion.

We knocked both presentations out of the park. And both presentations allowed me to dress like well for once.
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Be nice to those who prepare your food

2009-12-08T09:16:00.000-05:00

Interesting contrast this morning while in Jazzman's Cafe (referenced in previous posts). The guy in front of me was kind of rude to the cashier, an older spanish woman, and consequently they fucked up his order. I suspect this was on purpose. For me, I do what I always do and attempt to start up a conversation with them. They gave me three punches in my rewards card instead of one, and gave me a bigger size than what I ordered.

That other guy should've been cooler. All I did was mention the weather and smile.

--

Unrelated; Finals week begins on Monday; so if the quality or length of posts deteriorates between the 13th and the 19th, I apologize, but frankly I have more important things to worry about. Like playing video games.

Paddy's Pub

2009-12-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

After several nudges from several different directions over approximately two years, I finally caved and checked out "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

I gotta say, it's hilarious.

Another nod of appreciation to all involved, namely Bill, Doug, Andrew, and JD, as well as several people who (most likely) don't even remember suggesting the show to me.

What I like about the show is the writing. Apart from the hilarious situations these people find themselves in, the conversation tone and phrasing are hilariously appropriate to each scene. The actors do it well, and it shows they had input on the lines (I believe the men who play Dennis and Mac are creators, and Charlie is somehow involved). Also, is it just me or does Dee remind you of Sarah Chalke from Scrubs? Not just appearance wise, but also the sound of her voice and delivery is similar.

One thing that kinda bugged me is the addition of Danny Devito. I've only watched three episodes from season two, but it feels like his addition to the show was forced. The character even forces himself onto "the gang" in the dialogue, as well as purchasing half the bar and moving in with Charlie against his will. What's also weird about my feelings towards Devito is that a few people have actually mentioned that he is their favorite character. But the first season was so good, how can he be such a positive impact on the show? What was the motivation to adding Devito so abruptly? and is it necessary in subsequent seasons? I'm assuming my final question will be answered while watching the rest of the series.

So, all in all, great show. I look forward to checking out the bulk of it. It is finals week next week, so what else would i do? study? ha!

Seattle, here I come.

2009-12-06T21:31:00.005-05:00

Today is monumental for me, it's the day I booked my flight and hotel for a 5 day stay in Seattle, Washington.

With full support from family, I began the booking stages of what I've been thinking about (with a plan in mind) for months. How long have I been wanting to do it? I'd say about 6 years. it's a combination of being able to travel on my own, and see the Pacific, as well as accomplish many firsts. I look forward to renting my first car, flying alone for the first time, staying in a hotel on my own, and given the date on the reservation, I will be making approximately my 5th purchase of an alcoholic beverage. Who knows, it may be my first alcohol on a plane as well. It'll also be my first time in Chicago, as I have a 40 minute layover (yes I know I wouldn't be leaving the airport, but it still counts) before I connect to Seattle.

Another great thing about this trip is that I plan on documenting it all on film. From packing the essentials to picking up my baggage when I return nearly a week later in Baltimore. A little birdy has informed me that a video camera should be under the christmas tree; and by little birdy, I mean I picked it out. You can never be sure with electronics until you try them out, can you? So what does this mean? Well, it means that I will be posting a series of videos, hopefully with some entertaining moments, to the blog following (or, dare I say, during) the trip to the west coast. Who knows, maybe this blog will become a weekly vlog along with the daily posts. I certainly have some material in mind, with thanks to hilarious roommates.

I'd like to point out that many people have asked me, "Why Seattle?" The answer is simple. At a young age, my brother, cousins, and myself were very close to our grandfather and grandmother (pop-pop and mamoo respectively) on my mothers side. I suppose I was 7 or 8, when I first watched the film Sleepless in Seattle, and it was with my grandparents. Now, I have no idea why that movie had such a profound impact on me, but it did. Since watching it at a young age, I have found it to be my favorite film for purely sentimental reasons. It even led to my appreciation for Tom Hanks as my favorite actor. All this, plus the above "firsts" made Seattle a perfect candidate for a cross country vacation.

So as I write this, I notice my calendar tells me it's exactly one month until I get on a plane and take a trip. That thought simply makes me smile.

---

As a side note, Bill; you'd be happy to know that I will be taking tours of both Safeco Field and Qwest Field on January 8th, I will personally pick up something for you if interested. Same goes for you Douglas. I'm almost positive there will be no Ice Cream helmets (what a shame) but I'd be happy to pick up something for you.

---

And regarding the Redskins game; Redskins played their best game of the year but it came short to the best team in the league. Unfortunately the game had two VERY questionable turn over calls, the Sellers elbow during OT and the Kareem Moore interception and subsequent strip and return for TD at the end of the first half. In regards to the Moore play, replays showed he was down by contact at the initial catch, if he even caught it (the ball looked unsecured to me). Regardless, I know that both teams played their hearts out for 60 minutes, it's just a shame that two (very similar) booth reviews went the other way.

It also upsets me that NFC East blogger (ESPN.com) Matt Mosley so quickly blames Zorn constantly for the teams shortcomings. This week, it's the decision to kick the field goal with under 2:00 to play in regulation. Obviously, if Suisham had made the EASIEST kick of his career, the skins would be up by 10 and New Orleans had not timeouts remaining. That being said, who's to say the skins even get in the endzone at that point in the game? And if they had gone for 6, and not made it? Yea, an easy FG was the wrong choice there. Nice reporting (as always) Mosley.

Snow

2009-12-05T17:20:00.002-05:00

First snow of the year, spent the day slushin around town and ended up with two very wet socks.

The (real) christmas tree at the house is being decorated right now, and there's a fire in the fireplace. Florida is losing on tv (great news) and I have pizza in my belly. All is right in the world.

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Xmas tree

2009-12-04T21:03:00.000-05:00

Got the christmas tree today. Our family always waits until after JD's birthday and we take everything down before my birthday.

But here's the christmas tree in our apartment:

suck on that fire marshal.
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New Layout (again)

2009-12-03T03:03:00.002-05:00

This one i like. I liked the old one though, and the one before that, but this one i like.

If you can't tell what's going on in the picture, I can't blame you. I'm without scanner so I can't really get it on my computer with decent quality. maybe I will down the road but for now, this will do. I'm also STRONGLY considering moving over to tumblr to see what they got going on over there. Some of you may have visited my tumblr site in the past, and I would be taking over that URL for this blog if I were to make the change. The look over there would drastically be altered to mimic this site, but really the main change would be the content.

Essentially, it comes down to ease of publishing. I've been having issues with blogger as far as editing Html, but everything else has been REALLY smooth. Plus, most of the blogs I read are on blogger, not tumblr, so why switch?

For the time being (and possibly for the rest of my blogging "career") I will stay with blogger. If anything were to change, fair warning will be given and the blogger page will stay open as another addition to the dead internet graveyard.

Comment about the layout, let me know what you think. Can you read it still? colors bad? remember, you don't have to be a blogger member to comment. Anonymous comments do work.

Oh and more nonsensical ramblings to come tomorrow night.

National Lampoons Christmas Vacation

2009-12-02T09:00:00.005-05:00

I want to start by saying that every family can relate to this movie, but I can't. This family is so disfunction-ally hilarious yet realistic that no family could be that comedically perfect.

Clark will do anything to have the perfect Christmas, his immediate family supports him, but can't do anything to help, his parents feel bad for him, his wife's side of the family mocks him, his brother in law is a disaster, everything Clark touches goes to hell, and yet; at the end of the movie Clark lives happily ever after.

Cat food in a jell-o mold
"Shitter's full!"
Aunt Bethany giving the pledge of allegiance
Julia Louis-Dreyfuss getting jumped by a squirrel, then a dog
"It's a bit nipple-y... blousing, i mean browsing" "Not a log, I don't have a log"
"kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass, happy Chanukah."
"Lot of sap in here.. lot of sap."

and so much more.

If your family hasn't had a bad holiday, than you aren't completely normal. To experience a meltdown is terrible during, but almost always fun to look back on. This movie illustrates the fun meltdowns of a family holiday. Now go see it and laugh your ass off like I did!

I can't give it a perfect score because of the awfully dated (even for 1989) opening sequence in cartoon form. The singing is even worse. I give it 4.5 dead cats under a lazy boy out of 5.

Thoughts of the Day 12/1

2009-12-01T00:49:00.005-05:00

Well after four hours of sitting in the computer lab on two ~~hits of speed~~ cups of coffee, I wrote four well thought out pages of the paper. I plan to have another two done by the time you read this, and the final three done before 4:30 this afternoon. It's looking pretty solid so far, and I'm excited about getting this thing done ASAP.

So for today's post: Thoughts of the Day!!!

You know you're fat when you sit at your laptop brushing off the cheetos dust. Before you get any ideas, I'm not fat. I just think the fact that I happened to be winded and searching for a missing cheeto around my desk chair and yelling to my roommate, "where the fuck is the god damned cheeto?!" makes a good conversation piece to your friends. Besides it's hard to NOT get cheeto dust on your keyboard when the damn things cake a quarter inch of orange dust on your finger tips.
... I swear I eat apples and other healthy things too.

Standing in line at Jazzman's in the JC (the campus coffee shop I've been referring to):
I think I've seen that backpack before.. I remember because it had that military tag on it, even though it's not a military backpack. Do you think he dropped out of whatever military program he was in? Or is it a relatives? A friends? Maybe I should get a better look at his face.. Yea he seems like he could have been in the military. Then why the backpack mismatch?
Later, in my apartment complex:
There's that kid again! He lives on campus, so he could very well be in military training. Maybe he has more than one backpack. Hey! He lives next door to me! That's weird.

I'm at that weird stage where I can't decide to get a haircut or let it grow a little longer. I'm always worried I look stupid as is, but at the same time I'm worried that the lady will fudge up the haircut. It's not particularly hard to get it right for me, It's a short cut with no style or anything, but it's been done. This one woman made it cockeyed in the back. But to be fair, she had a hunch so she was leaning to the left slightly. It looked straight to her.

I like these "thought of the day" posts. I don't often get to spew out these quick little posts here and there with the blog. It's usually a longer post with the exception of a lame duck here and there. These posts give me a good chance to post those little thoughts that make my brain laugh.

I think undershirts are overrated. I've been wearing a shirt underneath my shirt ever since 7th grade. I don't know why I have been, and I don't know why I started. I think from now on I'm gonna save the undershirt for shirts that require buttons or sweaters.

You know that Richmond Squirrels baseball team I mentioned before? Well they are unveiling their uniforms today. By this evening I will have posted pictures here. Hopefully they're not too bad.
Here's one from Ben Terry's Facebook:
and one from the team website:

No Uniform pics just yet but I'll be on it as soon as I see or hear anything.

Completely legal speed.

2009-11-30T19:09:00.001-05:00

My version of speed is drinking a coffee really fast and using the resulting energy to be productive for about an hour or so. So, by that lame ass definition, I'll be getting completely hopped up on speed tonight to finish a report I've been working on.

If, by pure chance, I end up being strung out and addicted to the legal stimulant that is white chocolate mocha w/o whipped cream, you will be seeing a nonsensical rant of a post tomorrow or late tonight. Who knows, maybe it will be insightful, maybe it will be a video (because I'm lazy), or maybe it will be a complete waste of space.

In the best interest of time and energy, I'll let this post end short and go purchase my coffee/crack and go write a paper. I would like to add that the easiest tip for filling space in said paper is to explain the "basics" or essentials to understanding the topic. You may think that the basics are self explanatory, but it looks as if you have a greater understanding of the topic if you do so.

Long live coffee drinks at late hours, and I wish you all luck in finding your own personal completely legal speed.
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Your teacher's full of snot!

2009-11-29T14:43:00.001-05:00

It's a Wonderful Life.

To explain the title, in the 90's animated show Rocko's Modern Life, they ended an episode with a young girl saying, "Daddy, teacher says, 'every time someone finds a gas cap, an angel gets it's wings.'" Her father replies with, "Your teacher's full of snot!"

Now obviously, Frank Capra's classic is high on many christmas movie lists. This one for me didn't enter the conversation until I was old enough to understand what was going on. Not only is this a good christmas movie, it's a great movie involving the depression and the stock market collapse in 1929.

It's not often people my age watch black and white films, let alone enjoy it, but I would put this movie in my top 10.

I give this one 5 drunken pharmacists out of 5. I highly recommend this one if you haven't seen it. And if you haven't... where have you been?
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Arnold Schwarzenegger's Holiday Classic

2009-11-29T00:41:00.000-05:00

..Jingle all the Way!

This week I'm reviewing my favorite holiday films. No particular order here, just mentioning some of the great ones.

Now of course Arnold is no oscar winning actor, but my god is this film hilarious. The fact that he beats up Sinbad (who wears a postal uniform the whole time) over an action figure in the mall of america really just warms the christmas spirit for me.

Favorite scene for me might be Jim Belushi and a warehouse full of santa claus impersonators laying the smackdown on Arnold while midget santas do somersalts to avoid the police raid.

I give it 7 bulging forehead veins out of 10.

Well check it out and have a good outrageously long "holiday season".
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Leftovers

2009-11-27T19:42:00.000-05:00

Another thanksgiving, another day of re heated turkey and mashed potatos.

Leftovers in general are awesome. For me, and probably everyone else, cold pizza takes the cake. Cake is good too though. And chinese food.

Today it was sweet potatos, stuffing, turkey, mashed potatos, a biscuit, and of course gravy. Pumpkin pie to top it off.

Hope everyone had a good holiday and if you went shopping, let's hope it was after sunrise.
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Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T08:48:00.000-05:00

No post today, just wanted to say go eat food and have fun.

Oh yea and enjoy this video: NSFW and NSFgrandmas.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

A greater appreciation for concept albums.

2009-11-24T19:58:00.001-05:00

I've written about music quite a lot on this blog, and tonight is no exception. Can you blame me? Music kicks ass.

Specifically I'd like to talk about concept albums. You may or may not know what that is so let me explain. A concept album is an album released by a single band or singer or musical act that entirely has one theme. It could be love, loss, celebration, fear, or any other combination of or one single emotion or thought provocation.

Some of the more popular concept albums were released over 30 years ago by Pink Floyd or The Beatles. This would suggest that the popularity and frequency of concept albums have declined since then, which is partially true, but I believe this was intentional for several reasons.

Today, concept albums aren't as obvious as previously produced. This may be because a lot of music produced in the last ten years is planned more with singles in mind and the rest as filler. A good album, in my opinion, is solid throughout, all songs on the album are great. It's a shame that this view has changed, but thankfully not all albums have strayed away.

An example? Well there are too many to name all. Given the vast number of genres out there (many of which I do not enjoy), it's hard to say who falls under the "good" and the "not so good" categories.

If I were to give any example, it would be in my narrow view of music. Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie (released 2003) would be one example. This album may not be your preferred type of music, but it is mine.

One important thing that many albums need to stress is song transition. It is my belief that concept albums have nailed this trait pretty well. If you listen to Dark Side of the Moon from start to finish, you often don't know where one song ends, and another begins. So when listening to an album, like Transatlanticism or Dark Side of the Moon, I hear the transitions, and they're somewhat seamless. I'm almost positive any album Lady Gaga has released does not have this characteristic. This is what I mean by having a "greater appreciation" for concept albums.

I guess this all stems from the main purpose of music for me; being able to have background noise for mundane tasks; doing homework, driving, walking to class, sitting in a boring lecture, writing a proposal for research, etc. Sure all of these tasks are important, but not really entertaining. You may argue that not everything has to be entertaining and you'd be right, but the important thing to remember is what's the point of life if not to enjoy your time here?

So as not to move towards a too serious of a discussion, I'll leave with one thought. Music is a great background noise. It's a great foreground noise, but sometimes that's not feasible. Enjoy the things you have to do, and you'll have a greater appreciation for the things you want to enjoy.
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Going Home

2009-11-24T09:25:00.000-05:00

Got to talking with a good friend last night over hot wings, he had just gotten home this weekend from WVU. Eric was telling me that coming home for him is weird in that it's so different from everything in Morgantown, but it's exactly the same as he remembers it when he left. Sure the shopping centers have changed stores, there's a new restaurant next to Wal-Mart, and that intersection looks like it has new traffic lights, but it feels the same.

From what I gather of our discussion, it's like coming home to not only a place, but a memory of a feelings. You remember what that gas station smells like on the inside, you remember the glares on your windshield when you drive down the parkway at a particular time of day. It's the familiar things that make it home, not so much the locale.

Eric's story becomes even more interesting when he mentions that his family recently moved. So driving home for Thanksgiving, he has to use map-quest to find his house. An interesting twist to the story if you ask me. That familiarity is gone, yet everything else to him feels the same. A new bedroom, a new driveway, a new mailbox. Any of these things on their own is nothing but to have all of it, and a new address kind of brings it all to perspective.

Then I got to thinking of when myself and those my age begin shopping for a new home of their own. Already there are plenty people I know living in apartments but knowing that these residencies will last for only the next 18 months kind of cheapens that "home" image. I'm talking about after college. After med school and grad school. All of my friends will be buying furniture and paying electric bills. Their mail will be sent to their new permanent address in states far away from "home" and they may live the rest of their lives at that address.

Stuff like that interests me. Who knows where I'll be in 10 years. Will that be my last home or my 10th home? or Both?

Back to the Future

2009-11-23T08:44:00.002-05:00

First, I must say it is one of my favorite movies. The whole series, not just the first or the third, I like all three together. I feel leaving even the third out cheapens the entire story arch, so the full thing is just great. But after a case of beverages and a really fun game of watching the movies later, we began wondering how the hell all of this is going on simultaneously. How many timelines are there in this thing? I've come up with a brief but precise image of what we may be dealing with here.
Now obviously we have a lot going on here at once, so let me attempt to explain.

Here, we have Einstein's trip to 2 minutes into the future. Soon after, Doc leaves Marty with the car and Marty goes to 30 years in the past while trying to escape Libyan terrorists. While there, he creates an alternate time line (the dashed line) and after fixing the events in the first movie, he travels back to 1985.

As Marty returns home, the 2015 Doc comes back to tell him that he has seen the future, and Marty's kids must be helped. It's at this time that Marty, Doc, and Jennifer go to 30 years into the future. While there, Biff takes the Delorean and goes 60 years in the past to help himself become rich. This creates an alternate timeline that Marty sees when he returns to Hill Valley, 1985. He realizes what he did when he talks to alternate rich 1985 Biff, and goes 30 more years back to the past in 1955. This time, he avoids running into himself and fixes the issue. While here unfortunately, 1985 Doc gets sent to 1885.

Now moments later, Marty is approached by a Western Union Man, who was told to give Marty a letter at that exact moment. The letter was from Doc, from the year 1885. Marty then takes the Delorean that was left in a cave since 1885 and meets with 1955 Doc to try and fix it. By the time Marty gets to 1885, he sees Doc has made a name for himself as a black smith, and by saving the school teacher, and pissing off Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen (or old west Biff, as I call him) has created an alternate timeline. By allowing the Delorean to be pushed by a train, Marty reaches 1985, as it should be.

Then Doc comes from nowhere and appears on the train tracks in a big ass train with a wife and two kids.

My god that's a lot of time warp mind-screwing going on.

Update from last week's post:
New addition to the E(x)hausted rule. Apparently, adding "d" to the end also adds to the amount of tiredness, as seen here.

A Bit of Stephen & Hugh

2009-11-22T22:51:00.002-05:00

I don't believe i've mentioned it here before, but an absolutely fantastic show that I've been catching up on in between boring and interesting lectures is this show from BBC in the 80's, A Bit of Fry & Laurie. Starring, of course, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie. It has great wit and a young Laurie that everyone now knows as Dr. Gregory House. This sketch comedy show was brilliantly written and quite enjoyable.

I came across this show from a Netflix suggestion close to 4 years ago, and I've enjoyed it ever since. Some of it is terribly dated and to Americans, culturally irrelevant. However most of it (80 % or more) is stunningly hilarious. I'd recommend checking it out. If you have time, a link to the series pilot is here. Be patient as it is a long load, but the video is worth the look.

exhausted

2009-11-21T09:21:00.000-05:00

Does the amount of x's after the letter e in the word "exhausted" determine the degree at which you are tired? If that's the case I'd say I'm about two x's. not too tired, but certainly more than normal. After running the circle and watching Mason blow it in the last 15 seconds of our game today, I was kinda worn out. Then I saw this on facebook.
I wonder what they did that made them tired. Or is she just misusing the x's?

Snag a video camera on Black Friday

2009-11-20T02:00:00.000-05:00

Two things I believe I "need" in this upcoming shopping season; a camera, and a video camera. Hopefully I can kill two birds with one stone, but I don't mind shelling out the big bucks for two pretty good items as opposed to one item that does a task really well and the other really poorly.

The problem here, apart from my lack of self control when it comes to a personal budget, is the fact that I have NEVER shopped on black friday. never. I don't know what it's like, I don't know the secrets, I'm completely unprepared. Maybe I should think about these things before throwing myself into the throngs of madness next week.

Another thing I should consider is what I'm going to end up getting. Maybe I should figure out which is more important to me and go ahead and get a really good camera or video camera, not both. I just don't want to have to fight tooth and nail with some wily grandma in target.

[EDIT] -- 3:00 am 11/20

I'm going to start defriending those who have anything relating to twilight in their facebook status for the next 24 hours.

Final Exam Schedule

2009-11-19T09:00:00.000-05:00

I found out that my final exam schedule looks like this:

(click to enlarge)

I've already asked my Marketing professor if I can take the exam on another day, even the week before if necessary. Hopefully I can get that changed, otherwise it will be the worst day of my life so far.

Funeral for an inanimate object.

2009-11-18T09:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a sad, silent day for me; I lost a dear inanimate object that I take with me everywhere. My headphones. Sometime between the end of my Business Communications lecture and walking past the adjoining apartment buildings in my complex, the headphones stopped playing the sounds of Ben Folds.

So let me take a moment of silence while I throw away my old friend and take a week off of listening to the music on my phone in the memory of a fallen soldier. I'll wait until next week to buy replacements in the bookstore.

George Lopez and Wanda Sykes

2009-11-16T21:00:00.001-05:00

Why on earth has Fox and TBS given these two "celebrities" a second chance at a primetime TV show? I was listening to Pandora today (if you haven't tried it, I would highly recommend) when the Sound of George's voice filled my headphones. I clicked over to that tab to see a large ad featuring his smirking mug and plugging his new show on TBS.
But why does he deserve another shot at a show? I mean, I personally never saw what was so funny about his first show. Did he sleep with a producer or something? Yea that was a bad image burned into my mind.. sorry about that one.

But what is worse? George Lopez, or the ever so POPULAR Wanda Sykes? Yea I am being sarcastic. I have yet to meet anyone that has ever thought she was funny. Yet here we see ads of her on TV!!
I think the best part about these ads is when she's seen kicking away the "Cleveland Show", or "Brothers" saying, "get your own ad!" How perfect, place ads for terrible shows within an ad for a terrible show. Fox is guilty of marketing towards anyone watching any of these three shows as 3 parts retarded, 1 part easily brainwashed, and 1 part horribly underdeveloped. I challenge you to attempt to watch any of these shows and tell me what you think.

I won't even give George Lopez (and when I hear that name in my head, I think of how Cartman prounced this name in this clip, see around 0:53.) the benefit of the doubt because TBS shows are typically not great and as Chris Griffin says, his show only furthers the stereotype that George Lopez is funny.

Dirty Dishes

2009-11-16T11:22:00.002-05:00

Problem with living in an apartment with three other guys is that no one wants to do the dishes. I haven't been here in three days and the sink is full. I'm not doing them, but I really want to eat a bowl of cereal. Can't dirty up any of my dishes unless I expect to clean the kitchen!

Settle for toast and jelly/butter. Cheers for waking up before noon.

Overpriced candles and hand-warmers

2009-11-15T18:39:00.002-05:00

Getting ready for cold weather with pine tree scented candles from Giant (way overpriced) and free hand warmers to go along with a heavy jacket. Now I'd love to enjoy these things, but It was 70 degrees out today! I enjoyed wearing shorts and shades, but It's the middle of November? What is going on?

Good day today for football, Eagles are getting thumped and the Cowboys are down 10 as I write this, and the 'skins played like they are actually aware of how to play this strange sport everyone is calling "football" and won for once. Not that it matters, I've expected very little out of this team over the last three weeks!

Mid term exams coming up, as well as the trimester break for my brother! JD comes home this week. Christmas tree shopping for the apartment next week, then Thanksgiving with the family!

See ya tomorrow.